Lazarus
by Shil0h
Summary: Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality. (Takizawa/OC) Tragedy/Angst/Romance
1. Chapter 1

First of all, thank you for taking the time to check out my story. It deeply pains me that there aren't more Takizawa/OC fics (or just Takizawa fics, period) out there to be enjoyed. I hope I can do his character some sort of justice with this story, though the primary focus will be on my own characters.

More than anything, I am seeking feedback. I'm always trying to improve my writing, and since I have had most of this chapter written up for almost a year now, I would really like a fresh set of eyes to help give me that spark and get the creative juices flowing.

Apologies for the length as well - I tried to paint a detailed picture of the characters that are introduced, so hopefully this will only be a one time thing.

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 _20th Ward_

 _Wednesday_

 _14 Nov 2012_

 _7:06 AM_

The streets of Tokyo were in constant motion. Men and women moved hastily down the busy streets, bustling on and off trains between wards, in and out of coffee shops and restaurants in bleak uniformity. It was as depressing as it was fascinating, how so many people could follow the exact same routine in such mundane harmony. For one young woman, it was utterly unnerving. Everything was moving, but nothing was changing. She knew that tomorrow she would see the same vacant faces and empty stares pass by the same street corner, each one as uninterested in her presence as she was in theirs, only concerned with reaching their destination in a timely manner.

It was a shame, really. The young investigator always had a peculiar interest and a keen eye for the minute intricacies of human behavior, and if there was one thing she was sure of, it was that people were exceptionally predictable. Unlike mankind's prehistoric ancestors whose sharpened senses were a necessary means of survival, humans of today's generation seemed to be stuck in a perpetual state of obliviousness and one-track mindedness, making for easier prey than ever before.

Initially, it was humans who adapted to the existence of ghouls with the founding of the CCG and subsequent creation of anti-ghoul weaponry. But it became truly terrifying to realize that the threat was unperceivable - that not only did ghouls walk among humans, but they watched them, learned them, and led them unknowingly to their own deaths much like a farmer herding his cattle to the slaughterhouse.

It was sick, but it was reality all the same.

The 20th Ward's branch office stood out against the rest of the city due to its sheer size and unique architectural design. When the sun was high in the sky, it's massive shadow cloaked the smaller structures and streets below in an intimidating darkness. The gentleman approaching the building came to a pause outside the glass double doors, reaching inside his suite jacket for the pack of cigarettes stashed in the pocket. The woman at his side rolled her stormy eyes as he lit the cigarette with a swift flick of his silver plated lighter and brought it to his lips.

"You sure you have time for one of those?" she posed, quirking an eyebrow upwards in a manner that suggested she didn't quite believe he did. The man took a long drag and flicked the ashes to the concrete before fixing her with a cold stare, one that she met with equal indifference.

He ran a hand through his hair and leaned his back against the building to let her know he didn't plan on moving any time soon. She frowned deeply. "I've always got time for a smoke," he gruffly replied, his voice deep and gravelly; he refused to argue with his hard-nosed subordinate whose cold, calculating eyes cut straight through him. She wore the same sour look that seemed permanently etched into his own face though her features were much softer and more feminine, her full lips and angled cheekbones a sharp contrast to his chiseled jawline and broad, aquiline nose.

"Don't let me keep you," he told her after several seconds of silence as she stared silently down the street with her arms crossed over her chest in a solemn pout. "I have to meet with Houji and Shinohara beforehand. You may as well go on up to the meeting room." He blew out another puff of smoke and she watched it billow upwards and dissipate in the air.

He seemed to be in no rush to finish his cigarette and her patience was already wearing thin, so the young investigator decided to go on ahead without her partner, assuring him she would see him later despite his apparent lack of concern. She had to pause to admire the interior of the massive building as soon as she stepped through the door, awed by the architecture of the magnificent foyer. The CCG emblem was displayed upon the wall behind the front desk in all its glory, illuminated by fluorescent lights that were angled from the ceiling to convey its great importance. A lounge area complete with plush furniture and clean wooden coffee tables sat on a large rug that complimented the pristine white tile floors, and the smell of freshly brewed coffee lingered in the air.

She found the elevator and rode it up several floors as she gazed out upon the streets below with mild interest. The 20th Ward was all too familiar to the self-possessed young woman seeing as she had called it home since she was a child. She and her younger sister had a relatively calm and peaceful childhood growing up in an upper middle class suburban neighborhood outside of all the hustle and bustle of the city, and their mother was always home to take care of them while their father was away at work. A remarkably kind and nurturing woman, their mother was constantly battling issues with her health that kept her bed ridden or otherwise confined to their home. She spent this time with her girls the best that she could, but she passed away in her sleep when she was only thirty years old. The somber woman liked to think that her mother's death had given her a better sense of reality. She and her father had spent the last few months working tirelessly to quell the chaos in the 11th Ward and to no avail as the ghouls in the ward had begun targeting investigators, rendering the branch office completely powerless. There was little they could do once their comrades had been wiped out, and so it was decided that she and Makio were to be transferred to the 20th Ward.

She paused outside the designated meeting room to knock respectfully before letting herself in. She was immediately aware of how bright and spacious the room was with the large conference table taking up a large chunk of space in the center of the room. The entire back wall was lined by windows allowing natural light to pour into the room and enhance the brightness of the bland white walls and tile floor, but what caught her eye was the impish young man seated at the very back of the room. He looked upon her with wide, curious crimson red eyes and a mouth full of potato chips. He seemed to be wearing a loose fitting button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and black capri pants with patterned suspenders in blatant disregard of the CCG's strict in-office dress code. Not only that, but he had a vast array of junk food spread out before him as if he were in the middle of eating it all by himself; she was almost positive that was against some sort of policy.

He looked quite familiar. Her eyes went from the candy in front of him to the strange stitches decorating the flesh of his right arm and suddenly it all came together in her head, a small smile curving the corners of her lips. "Good morning, Suzuya-san."

The androgynous young man blinked in response, eyes following as she moved from the doorway. "G' mornin'…" he wearily replied through a mouth full of junk food, though he seemed rather unsure of himself. He grabbed a two-liter bottle of soda and guzzled half of its contents, and when he was done, he sighed contentedly and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. "Who are you?" he bluntly inquired, his head tilted just slightly to the side in a way that made him seem rather childish.

The dark headed girl smiled good-naturedly as she plopped down in one of the chairs nearest the snowy haired boy. "Figures you would forget me," she teased, "I did break your nose, after all. I guess that really was unforgivable." She bopped him on the nose as she spoke and he flinched at the gesture.

There was a short moment of silence before his eyes went wide in a distinct look of recognition. An exuberant smile split across his face as he slapped the palms of his hands on the table and jumped out of his seat in a sudden burst of excitement. "Haruhi-chan!" he gasped, ruby hues sparkling. "Of course I forgave you, stupid! I didn't feel it anyways!" She giggled at his enthusiastic reaction, reaching across the table to give his stitched hand a reassuring pat. It warmed the girl's heart to see Juuzou so happy to see her after such a long time, but it was obvious he was still struggling to understand his emotions. In the moment, he was so excited he was shaking, but he couldn't quite decipher what it meant or what he should do about it; was he supposed to hug her? Should he tell her that he had missed her or something like that? He wasn't sure, so he just stared at her and grinned blissfully.

Haruhi was one of the few people Juuzou felt he could call a friend. Shinohara introduced him to her and her family when he was younger and still attending the junior academy, and he ended up spending a considerable amount of time with them in an effort on his concerned mentor's part to improve the troubled boy's poor social skills. They were different to him, he remembered, because they didn't look at him with the same looks of mistrust and contempt that he was so familiar with receiving from the students and instructors at the academy who accused him of killing small, innocent animals like some heartless savage — Haruhi and her family always treated him like a person, never questioning why he was the way that he was. They, much like Shinohara, accepted him as best as they could.

Haruhi and her sister taught him how to ride a bike. Initially, it was hard for him to grasp the concept of just being able to stay upright. Then it became overwhelming as he struggled to balance on two wheels while spinning the pedals at his feet and cautiously steering the handlebars down a safe, obstacle-free path. He wanted to quit just as soon as he had begun, but the two girls forced him into trying again, over and over until he finally got the hang of it. He fell a lot, but it was fun.

Shinohara told him once that riding a bike is something that can't be forgotten no matter how long you go without doing it. Juuzou wanted to teach Haruhi something she would always remember, too.

The warm moment between the two old friends was suddenly disrupted by the click of the doorknob as the robust figure of none other than Amon Koutarou quietly entered the room, a broody expression on his face. His eyes moved from the floor to meet Haruhi's apathetic gunmetal blue hues and a look of surprise flashed across his face for a moment.

"Goooood morning~!" Juuzou greeted him enthusiastically, spreading his arms out wide in a welcoming gesture.

The large man's eyes swept over him distastefully as he entered the room. "Good morning, Suzuya-san…" he politely replied, though his face betrayed his dissatisfaction with the young man's appearance. He turned to Haruhi and visibly relaxed, offering his hand for her to shake. "Good morning, Kamenashi-san."

"Good morning," she replied, standing from her seat to give his hand a quick shake. "I haven't seen you in a while. Though I've heard all about your admirable feats." A gracious smile spread across his face, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I was just about to say the same to you," he said. Amon and Haruhi began working with the CCG around the same time and became familiar with one another during their time at the Main Office. Amon came in under the intense scrutiny of his superiors as he had graduated from the academy at the top of his class and was expected to excel under the mentorship of the honorable Mado Kureo while Haruhi was something of a "special case" snatched up from the junior academy at only sixteen years old. She starkly stood out from the rest of her classmates due to her extraordinary physical ability and sharp-wittedness, but many of her superiors believed her father's status as a high ranking and well established ghoul investigator was the sole reason for her early admission into the CCG. Much like her father, her coworkers came to see her as rather severe and tactlessly indifferent; her imposing nature commanded respect, but also inspired an unwarranted feeling of trepidation and inferiority amongst her colleagues.

"I was the first to arrive," Juuzou proudly announced, cutting his eyes toward the ebony haired woman spitefully as he munched on a candy bar.

Amon sighed deeply at the mischievous investigator, a pronounced frown tugging the corners of his mouth downwards. "Well… Your morning greeting is good…" he supplied. Haruhi smiled sympathetically at the dignified young man. "But… what's with your clothes? You're so slovenly." Juuzou seemed genuinely caught off guard by his accusatory question, confusion swimming in his big, crimson eyes.

He scrunched his eyebrows together and looked to Amon with a muddled expression, crumbs decorating the corners of his mouth. "Is there something wrong with my clothes somewhere?" he asked innocently, which only seemed to frustrate Amon even further. He scoffed at Juuzou's apparent cluelessness.

"It'd be harder for me to find any places that weren't wrong," he harshly mocked causing Juuzou to flinch. Haruhi shrunk back in her seat as the bulky investigator pointed accusingly at his outfit. "Your shirt should be buttoned all the way to the top. And where's your neck tie? And put some pants on that go all the way to your ankles. And no eating in the meeting room!" Juuzou scrambled to gather up his junk food and pack it away in his bag.

"Besides all of that," Amon said, "what's with those stitch marks? I thought they might have been for closing wounds, but I see now that's not the case."

"It's called 'body stitch'," he explained, turning over his stitched arm for Amon to see. He grimaced in disgust. "I learned about it from my friend who's a body modification aficionado. Would you like me to show you?" He was grabbing the thread and needle out of his bag before Amon had the chance to respond.

Haruhi waved her hands dismissively toward Juuzou. "Ah, Suzuya-kun, I'm sure that's not necessary," she politely urged, but he brushed her off and proceeded to show the Rank 1 investigator how it was done. Amon's disgust turned to horror before Haruhi's eyes as Juuzou began stitching the skin of his wrist with the sterile needle all the while giving a crude explanation of the process. She could only watch passively from the side.

Juuzou finished his masterpiece and proudly held it up for Amon to see. "It's finished, see? It's a flower."

Amon moved away from the stitched boy. "That's disgusting," he grumbled, but Juuzou didn't acknowledge his words. Instead he grabbed the end of the thread that was stitched through his skin and yanked it free with a sickening _swip!_

Amon seemed deeply disturbed by the display as he took his seat at the far end of the table. Haruhi couldn't blame him for judging the strange young man; he went back to eating his candy when he thought Amon wasn't looking. Given his precarious mental state due to his harsh background and his uniquely adept ghoul slaying abilities, Juuzou was almost completely immune to the CCG's most basic policies. He had Shinohara to bail him out of most trouble if he couldn't keep him out of it in the first place.

Haruhi turned toward the door as another young man entered the room. He was unfamiliar to her, leanly built and muscled with a childishly round face and big brown eyes that betrayed his innocent naivety. He met her curious stare and seemed to hesitate for a moment. "Good morning," he said.

"Good morning," Haruhi replied, standing from her seat to shake his hand as he approached her. "Kamenashi Haruhi, Rank 2. I look forward to working with you…" She trailed off intending for him to give his name, but he seemed at a loss for words as he stared upon her with a look of wonder and slowly shook her hand.

When he registered she was waiting for a response, he managed to recover from his awestruck trance. "Oh, I-I'm Takizawa Seidou, Rank 2," he said, offering a nervous smile as he anxiously fidgeted with his tie. Seidou had never formally met the infamous female investigator, but he had seen her in passing and admired her from afar. It was incredibly rare that a woman be instated into the CCG without first receiving formal training at the academy, and even rarer that she be instated at such a young age. Not to mention she was one of the most gorgeous girls he had ever laid eyes on and the daughter of one of the most fearsome investigators in the bureau. He was sure he had once heard Houji praise her for her excellent quinque skills, likening her hard hitting, fast paced fighting style to that of her father's.

Haruhi's daunting reputation was what had always kept Seidou from trying to approach her, afraid of being mocked or blatantly ignored, so he was a bit caught off guard by her rather warm introduction. Of course he already knew who she was, but he wasn't going to make that comment; not like he had with Amon, when he got so nervous he wound up stumbling over his introduction and made himself look like a fool.

Haruhi smiled amicably. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Takizawa-san."

A light blush rose to his cheeks and an exuberant grin stretched across his face. "It's nice to meet you as well," he said. The childlike excitement that sparkled in his eyes with shameless clarity put the impassive young woman in mind of her naive little sister. The girl was a sharp contrast to her mature and much more reserved older sibling. She wore her heart on her sleeve and had a tendency to act upon her earnest convictions, the genuineness of her actions often obscured by her temperamental nature. Seidou wore the same sincere albeit naive look of admiration Haruhi sometimes saw on her sister's face when she caught the teen staring from the corner of her eye.

"G'mornin'," Juuzou greeted Seidou, not bothering to mask his indifference as he continued to stuff his face. The young man's smile instantly faded as his gaze shifted to the white haired delinquent.

"Juuzou, put that candy away," he directed, brown eyes narrowing contemptuously. "This is the meeting room!" There was a short pause as Juuzou looked pointedly at the brunette before taking another big bite of the sugary treat in his hand. Seidou visibly bristled when he hummed in exaggerated delight and Haruhi sighed deeply as an overwhelming sense of foreboding filled her chest.

Seidou marched forward and promptly snatch the candy from him. "Ignoring me, huh?" he scoffed at Juuzou's incredulous face, "You're younger than me aren't you?!"

Seidou had barely gotten the words out before a stitched fist was coming down on his nose, and Haruhi was out of her seat just a second too late. Seidou cried out as he stumbled back from the impact, relinquishing the candy bar as his hands instinctively went to his injured nose. The equable woman reflexively snagged the troublemaker by the ear, having done so many times in the past, pinching a pressure point that made his whole body go rigid. "Ah—! What'd you do that for, Haruhi-chan?" Juuzou whined, squirming around in her ruthless iron grip. She yanked him harshly back in his seat and he yelped out — more out of annoyance than actual pain — as she glared down at him with scathing disapproval.

"Because you know better than to act in such a way," she chided, though her voice lacked its usual assertiveness. He swatted at her hand until she released him and then turned to glare at her with a sullen pout on his face as he gingerly rubbed his sore ear. She arched an eyebrow at him challengingly, but he wasn't in the mood to push her any further. Amon remained seated at the opposite end of the table looking anxious and fidgety but otherwise unmoved by the exchange even as Seidou proceeded to bleed all over the meeting room.

Haruhi produced a handkerchief from the pocket of her pea coat and quickly approached the bloodied investigator. "Come with me," she ordered, grabbing him by his necktie and dragging him toward the door before he had the chance to protest, "you're making an awful mess."

Tears stung the corners of his eyes as he struggled to contain the blood flowing freely from his nostrils while he scrambled for something to stop the bleeding. He really didn't want to dirty up the woman's clean white handkerchief, but he couldn't quite afford to be picky. He could feel the blood seeping between his fingers and dripping down his chin, threatening to stain the collar of his shirt. The disgruntled brunette accepted the handkerchief and reluctantly allowed the solemn woman to pull him along despite his utter mortification, all the while assuring her he was alright and didn't really need any help.

She silently led him into an unoccupied bathroom at the end of the long hallway, shutting the door behind them. The anxious investigator felt his heart skip a beat in his chest when she turned to him with a softer expression on her face. "Keep your head tilted back just a bit," she instructed, placing a finger under his chin and gently coaxing him to lean his head back. He stood at least six inches taller than her, so she was forced to stand on her toes in order to properly inspect the injury to his face.

Seidou was suddenly aware of the woman's deliberate closeness, and a bright red flush rose to his cheeks. "I, w-why are you-" he sputtered nervously under her careful gaze only for her to shush him and brush his hand away. She gingerly lifted the soiled handkerchief from his face to inspect his nose and he held his breath.

He winced when she began blotting at the blood on his face. "Ah, I'm sorry," she apologized, her feather light touches sending shockwaves through his body for one reason or another. The bashful brunette could only blink in response, at a loss for words as the beautiful investigator tended to his wound. She turned from him to dampen a paper towel in the bathroom sink. "I hope you don't take this too personally, Takizawa-san. Juuzou can certainly be a bit… difficult."

He frowned. Was he just supposed to forgive the little punk for punching him in the face? What could possibly warrant such behavior be glossed over without proper repercussions? "He has no respect for anybody," Seidou grumbled irritably, glancing over to find the woman's somber gray-blue hues in the mirror, "it's infuriating…"

She wrung the towel off and turned back around to face him. "Oh, you're definitely right. He's a punk," she agreed, the faintest hint of a smile on her face, "but Juuzou doesn't just respect anybody. For him, respect is something that has to be earned."

Seidou scoffed. "So it's my fault he punched me in the face?" He could have sworn the corners of her mouth twitched as if she were struggling to hold back a laugh. He timidly averted his eyes.

"Maybe so," she quipped, "but I'm not trying to convince you to blame yourself. I'm just trying to give you a bit of advice."

"Why should I be the one trying to earn his respect?" he questioned. "He's hardly respectable in the first place, the way he acts and dresses…" A silence fell over the two and for a moment, Seidou wondered if he had offended her. It was obvious she had some sort of affinity for the androgynous teen, and he had hardly considered that before shooting off his mouth.

When the irascible young man had finally gathered up enough courage to look back at her, he saw a thoughtful expression on her face. "Then it sounds like you understand Suzuya-kun perfectly," she deadpanned, thought her eyes betrayed her amusement at his apparent frustration. It was odd, he thought, as he gazed upon the normally hard and impassive female investigator he had only ever admired from afar. Though she came across as rather cold and unfeeling, he found something rather comforting in the stormy depths of her eyes, a vague though distinct sincerity that made him want to lean in closer, look deeper for the source of such a gentle warmth so that he could have _more_. He wasn't sure what exactly sparked this sudden infatuation, and as the fog in his mind began to clear, he was strongly aware of how close she was to him. He felt his stomach churn and his mouth go dry.

He swallowed thickly as she carefully cleaned away the remaining blood from his face. "Does it hurt?"

"Er, a bit, but not so bad," he said. "I think it's almost stopped bleeding." He froze, heart thudding rapidly in his chest as she reached up to brush his hair out of his face. The ever present blush that colored his cheeks spread down his neck like a violent affliction, and he clenched his jaw tightly in an attempt to maintain what little composure he had left.

She was either too engrossed in her examination or simply chose to ignore how tense he was under her touch as she coaxed him to look to the side so she could get a better look. "It's a bit swollen, but I don't believe it's broken," she concluded, releasing his face and reaching to grab another paper towel from the dispenser on the wall. She ripped a small piece off and rolled it up before handing it to him. "You may want to put this in your nose until the bleeding is completely stopped."

He graciously accepted the small piece of paper from her. "Thank you, Kamenashi-san," he thanked her. "You really didn't have to do any of this." She simply shrugged her shoulders, bringing her hands together behind her back in a way that made her seem noble and refined. She looked over at her reflection in the mirror and the contented expression on her face instantly faded, replaced by the harsh mask that was so familiar to her.

Seidou eyed her warily and allowed his idle thoughts to wander. He had always found the woman to be a bit frightening, but now he realized that something about her seemed almost melancholic. Her reputation as a skilled investigator preceded her; it wasn't just any ordinary woman that could conquer the ghouls she had conquered alongside her father, let alone from such a young age, and to be able to walk away from the chaos tearing apart the 11th Ward was an achievement in itself. She carried herself with such unremitting dignity and grace that others were off put by her, intimidated by her distinguished reputation and commanding presence. She was feared and respected, and she was only a Rank 2 investigator.

Why did she look so miserable?

Her perplexing blue-gray eyes met his and a wan smile crossed her face. "I couldn't stand to watch you bleed out," she teased, her eyes falling musingly to the floor. "It's strange. I guess I was reminded of all the bloody noses I've had to help my sister take care of."

"Oh?" Seidou smiled genuinely. "So your sister tends to get nosebleeds?"

Haruhi shook her head. "Not exactly. She's just exceptionally clumsy." He laughed out loud as he followed the forbearing woman out of the restroom.

Haruhi met eyes with her father as she and Seidou neared the conference room. He was standing outside the doorway chatting idly with Shinohara, Houji and Amon about something that seemed to be incredibly amusing as the former's booming laughter echoed down the long corridor. His steely gray eyes flickered to the young man at her side before meeting hers again, a silent query that she chose to ignore. "Oh, there you are," Houji greeted the two as they approached, though his lighthearted expression changed to one of concern when he saw the young man's bloody nose. "What happened?" he asked.

Haruhi waved her hand dismissively. "Nothing too serious, just a little, er… accident," she explained, cutting her eyes toward the stitched hoodlum who was taunting the brunette from behind the Special Class investigators' backs. Seidou must have noticed as his hands clenched into tight fists.

Haruhi was admittedly thankful that he didn't seem to have any fight left in him and smiled reassuringly as he let out a dejected sigh, the tension visibly lifting from his slender shoulders. "Don't worry, it's really not that big of a deal," he assured his broad-shouldered superior. The debonair older man smiled sympathetically.

Shinohara clapped his hands together to get everyone's attention, a broad smile on his face. Haruhi wondered what it would be like working alongside him. The large man was a beacon of positive energy, an inimitably kind and benevolent human being that radiated a comforting warmth of spirit like nothing she had ever encountered. It was he who once dragged her father from the darkness in which he spiraled deeply, a miserably angry widower on the brink of insanity following the death of his wife. Makio and his daughters were disconsolate and blaming themselves for not doing something differently, for not trying harder to save her from the end that found her so young. Though her health had been deteriorating for years, her death was like a punch in the gut that left the father and children gasping for air, devastated by the loss of someone so infinitely special.

"Well since we're all here, we may as well get this meeting started," the stout investigator announced, motioning for everybody to enter the room. Haruhi made to follow the group into the room as they shuffled out of the hallway, but Makio grabbed her arm before she could escape. She gave him an agitated look.

"What was that about?" he asked quietly so as not to get anybody's attention. "I didn't think you were the compassionate type." The raven-haired woman glared bitterly at the smirk on his face.

"I just wanted to help," she clarified, jerking her arm from his grasp and smoothing the wrinkles from her coat. "I'm capable of being kind, you know."

The cheeky grin fell from his lips as his expression returned to its usual sour mask. "Yeah, well, just don't go giving that kid any ideas." His eyes flickered to something over her shoulder as he sullenly grumbled, "he's got that dumb, hopeful wide-eyed look."


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the delay on this chapter. Thank you to those who reviewed/followed/favorited this story. Your feedback is very much appreciated and encouraged!

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 _20th Ward_

 _Friday_

 _16 Nov 2012_

 _11:00 AM_

Haruhi narrowed her steely eyes at the young woman across the table and subconsciously stabbed through a piece of salted chicken with her chopsticks. A heavy silence had long since fallen over the two, only disturbed by the frustratingly present sound of the younger woman's pencil scratching across the notebook paper as she took notes from the large biology book in front of her, occasionally turning the page with undue haste. The noise was slowly driving the raven-haired investigator insane. She timed each turn of the page in her head as if it would distract her from the annoyingly frantic scratching of the pencil only to find that it was actually pushing her closer and closer toward dissolving into a psychotic meltdown.

Patience expiring, Haruhi quickly reached across the table to slap her hand down on the open book, causing the teen to jump in surprise. "Put the book away already," she ordered, exasperation etched across her face, "haven't you done enough studying?"

She sighed dejectedly and complied, putting down the pencil and slamming the large textbook shut. "Sorry," she apologized, "I'm just a bit anxious, I guess." Haruhi arched an eyebrow at her apology. It wasn't at all out of character to see Yuuhi studying so intently. The anxious teen was a hardworking student ranked at the very top of her class in the junior academy. She took great pride in her academics, but when it came to exams, she was reduced to a tense ball of nerves.

Haruhi popped a ball of rice into her mouth and fixed her sister with a vacant stare. "You'll just wipe yourself out if you study too much," she warned, to which the diligent student rolled her eyes.

"I'd rather study too much than not enough," she reasoned, resting an elbow on the table and propping her chin up in a petulant manner. Yuuhi narrowed her eyes toward her solemn older sister. "How would you know, anyway? You didn't even graduate from the academy…"

Haruhi's lips curved into a cheeky grin, one that the girl was all too familiar with. "We'll just call it a hunch."

"Whatever," she pouted, though her lips formed a discernable smile. "I guess I just find it kind of interesting. I was just reading about how ghouls have a metabolic rate that's nearly 3000 times faster than the average human which is why they're able to recover from injuries so quickly after a meal. Some are even capable of regenerating entire limbs…" Her eyes fell to the biology book resting on the table, an excitable expression on her face. She ran her fingers absentmindedly over the cover.

"Is that what they have you reading about?" Haruhi questioned condescendingly. Yuuhi rolled her eyes. "I could have told you that. I've seen ghouls get their heads chopped off just to grow a whole new one." The young girl seemed unsure of her sister's words, fixing her with a narrow stare in an effort to break her poker face.

When she didn't falter, Yuuhi's expression softened, and she leaned forward with wide curious eyes. "… Have you really?" she questioned.

The investigator let out a half-chuckle. "Of course not." Yuuhi sighed irritably much to her sister's amusement.

Haruhi stared across the cafeteria and gnawed on her lip. Her bento sat before her half eaten and almost entirely forgotten despite the grip she had on the chopsticks. She never finished her lunch, and she was beginning to make a habit out of giving her leftovers to the white-haired troublemaker who had become an almost constant presence these past few days. Haruhi didn't much mind him looming over her as she worked because the eccentric conversations he offered seemed to make the time pass by quicker. He reminded her of Yuuhi in a lot of ways - especially in the way he watched her so closely, intrigued by anything and everything she did. Yuuhi often followed closely behind her sister when they were younger, eager to learn from her example. She grew out of that habit around the time she entered the academy, but Haruhi admittedly missed her sister's innocent curiosity. It had a way of making her feel more important than she really was.

She pushed the bento across the table, interrupting her sister's deep thoughts. "You can have the rest if you want," she offered peaceably.

Yuuhi's expression softened and she shook her head. "Thanks, but I'm not hungry." Haruhi shrugged, wordlessly taking the bento back and putting it away. "Was Dad too busy to take a lunch break with us?"

"He has a lot of paperwork to get done," she explained. "I was planning to work through lunch as well so I could give him a hand, but he insisted I take a break."

Yuuhi frowned. "Oh... So you haven't been doing much investigating then, I take it?"

Haruhi released a yawn, stretching her arms out in front of her. "Not really. We're still getting settled so there's a lot of meetings and paperwork and those types of things. Nothing too exciting."

"That sounds boring," Yuuhi smiled sympathetically to which Haruhi nodded in exaggerated agreement. Her sister knew just how eager she was to wield her quinque in battle once again. When Haruhi and Makio were stationed in the 11th ward, the teen was often left alone to worry after them. It baffled her how indifferent they were in the face of danger, unconcerned with the odds of losing their lives at the end of a ghoul's kagune when it came down to doing their jobs as investigators. "It's our duty to protect Tokyo at all costs," her father would so simply explain to her when she posed her concerns, but it did little to ease her mind. Such unremitting courage and loyalty was lost on her. But surely, she thought, she could find that courage within herself before too long.

Haruhi sighed deeply at the thought of returning to her cubicle for the rest of the day. Her workspace was located directly between Juuzou and Takizawa, who looked to be developing a strong dislike for one another. "You have no idea," she grumbled, leaning forward to rest against the table. Yuuhi began gathering her materials and putting them away in her book bag as she prepared to leave. She was allowed only an hour for lunch and still had to catch a train to get back to school.

The sisters were suddenly interrupted by a nervous voice, one Haruhi recognized immediately. "Um, sorry to bother you…" Seidou stood next to the table, an uncomfortable expression on his face. He had one hand in the pocket of his slacks and the other in his suit as if he were reaching for something. Haruhi looked at him expectantly with the curious arch of her brow, her head subconsciously tilting to the side.

He pulled a familiar piece of cloth from the inside of his suit jacket, stuttering, "I-I wanted to return this to you." She recognized it as the handkerchief she had lent to him the other day after Juuzou had busted his nose. The last time she had seen the small handkerchief, it had been almost completely saturated with his blood, but as he held it out to her now, it appeared to be as pristine and white as she once remembered it. Her gaze shifted up to his face where she could see the swelling around his nose had gone down dramatically. She could just make out the hint of a crescent moon shaped bruise that stretched down the side of his nose to curve beneath his right eye. He nervously scratched at his cheek, eyes looking anywhere but at her.

How peculiar, she thought.

"I appreciate it, but you really didn't have to give this back," she told him, taking the handkerchief from him and folding it neatly before putting it away in the breast pocket of her blazer. "It's just a piece of cloth. I have plenty of others." He smiled at her, a crooked smile full of apprehension and overwhelming sincerity that left her with a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. Haruhi eyed him curiously, the rosy tint to his cheeks causing her mild concern. Surely he wasn't getting ill, she contemplated, her lips pursed in thought. He seemed just fine when she greeted him and Houji this morning.

Her mind drifted to the incident just a few days ago, the morning Juuzou punched him in the face. _"I didn't think you were the compassionate type,"_ her father had teased after she returned to the conference room with Seidou. But he was right; Haruhi was hardly the type to go out of her way to help or comfort others in distress. When it came to work, she wasn't particularly expressive or conversational, instead choosing to keep her nose to the grindstone and focus on performing her duties to the best of her ability. It was a characteristic she shared with her father who was infamous among his colleagues for his exceptional work ethic. So what possessed her to do something so out of character?

"Takizawa?" Yuuhi questioned, eyes roaming the brunette's face. Haruhi turned to give her sister a strange look. "You gave a lecture to my class at the academy just a month ago, I believe." Seidou blinked in surprise. A coy smile met the girl's lips as he let out a nervous laugh.

"Oh, yeah," he said, reaching back to scratch a nonexistent itch at the back of his head. "It was a brief lesson on quinques, if I recall correctly." He narrowed his eyes contemplatively as he thought back on the lecture.

Yuuhi nodded and shifted in her seat so that she was directly facing the young man. Haruhi rolled her eyes. "Yes, that was it!" she exclaimed as the recognition hit her. "I learned some very valuable things from your lecture. My instructor said I've greatly improved at my quinque exercises. All I did was remember what you said about thinking of the quinque as an extension of the body instead of a weapon, and planting your feet firmly…"

"That's really kind of you to say," he chuckled, "I'm glad you got something out of it."

"I wanted to speak to you afterwards, but I was too afraid…" she admitted with a timid laugh as the young man's chest swelled with pride. Truthfully, he had left the class feeling rather exasperated by the students' apparent disinterest in his lecture. They treated him as if the time he had taken for them meant nothing at all, and he couldn't resist addressing those that rudely chattered amongst themselves while he was trying to teach. The scathing looks subsequently directed at him were nothing short of gratifying.

The last thing Seidou expected to hear was that he had imparted knowledge upon somebody who had actually used it. For whatever reason, he had the girl's unwarranted respect and admiration. It was a strangely satisfying feeling.

Haruhi smiled sardonically, giving the young woman across from her a teasing look. "You see, my poor sister is rather spineless," she ribbed, to which Yuuhi pouted childishly. She scoffed at the mirthful tone of her voice.

"That – That's not true at all!" she anxiously proclaimed, reaching across the table to smack the caustic woman only for her to move away.

Seidou smiled thoughtfully. "You shouldn't be afraid to speak to me," he encouraged her, "it's not as if I'm somebody important." He let out a chuckle, but his eyes betrayed a strong sense of hopelessness, a painfully earnest despair that left Haruhi with a strange, hollow feeling in her chest. She wondered what could possibly warrant such melancholy. Houji had mentioned that he graduated near the top of his class, an impressive feat considering the skilled investigators known to come out of the academy. Haruhi was admittedly surprised to discover this considering the young man's sheepishness. He was meek and fidgety as though he lacked the confidence to stand proudly alongside his peers.

Haruhi knew all too well what it was like to feel inferior to those around her. Designated a Rank 3 investigator at only sixteen, many of her colleagues doubted her abilities and mocked her for her lack of experience or formal education. Some speculated that her designation was due only to her father's status within the CCG. Of course, she went on to earn their respect through marvelous feats of strength and skill — not that she was ever looking for it. She still gets the occasional dirty look and snide remark every now and then from those who outrank her, but she meets the criticism with the stalwart dignity of a battle-hardened soldier, just as her father taught her.

Haruhi's mouth was moving before she even realized what she was saying. "You must be something if Houji-san took you under his wing," she affirmed, breaking her taciturn silence. "It's not as though just anybody could earn that right." Seidou pursed his lips in a thoughtful expression, gaze straying from her stormy eyes.

"Yeah, I guess that's true," he reluctantly conceded.

"Since you're here, I suppose you are the best person to ask." Yuuhi spared her sister a spiteful glance as she reached into her bag to fish out a pen and notepad. "I'm having trouble grasping certain concepts regarding ghoul biology, specifically their 'immunity'. Just how is it that ghouls are biologically immune to damage dealt by man-made objects like knives and guns, but are still capable of being fatally injured by an acute transfer of a sufficient volume of kinetic energy? Like, for example, falling from a high place…?" Seidou blinked in bewilderment of the eager teen's longwinded question but quickly recovered as he thought back on the many biology lessons he sat through as a student at the academy.

He cleared his throat and let out a contemplative hum. "Well, in some cases, a ghoul can actually heal from those types of injuries. It's largely dependent on a ghoul's regenerative abilities, which is different for each ghoul." He crossed his arms over his chest and looked up at the ceiling as the cogs in his mind continued turning. "They become more vulnerable the longer they go without eating, and ingesting human food also makes them weaker, which can hinder their regenerative ability. Ghouls that are already weak are more susceptible to injuries from man-made objects, and any drastic trauma can prove fatal if they can't heal from it quickly enough." Yuuhi scribbled on her notepad as he spoke.

She paused to squint at the notes she had taken. "So the weaker they are, the more susceptible to damage," she summarized, to which Seidou nodded. "And any kind of massive trauma is capable of killing them because they cannot recover quickly enough."

Seidou smiled, "that's right."

Yuuhi stood to her feet, satisfied with the information she had been given. She put away her notes and shrugged her bag over her shoulder. "Thanks! I think I get it now," she said, reaching over to give the brunette an appreciative handshake. She looked back to her sister who was doing nothing to hide her boredom with the conversation. "I should be getting back to the academy now. I'll speak to you later oneesan." She gave a quick wave before turning to exit the cafeteria with a new pep to her step.

Haruhi looked back to Seidou with a wan smile. "Yuu takes her studies very seriously, but she refuses to accept my help," she explained. "I appreciate you answering her questions. You seem very knowledgeable."

"Oh, thank you. It was no problem at all," he said as he cautiously took the seat across from her, folding his hands in front of him on the table. Haruhi smiled reassuringly in an effort to ease his nerves, though she's unsure why she seemed to care so much. More often than not, she preferred her colleagues feel intimidated by her; having people avoid her made life easier for everyone. To her, making small, meaningless conversation served no practical purpose and only managed to distract her and cut into valuable time she could be allocating toward something more important.

Yet here she was, letting the anxious greenhorn sit with her when she should be getting back to work. "Why doesn't she let you help her?" he asked.

Haruhi shrugged. "I'm not sure," she said, "maybe we have a rivalry that I'm unaware of."

Seidou scratched his chin, a rueful smile on his face. "I guess it would be a bit difficult to follow after a sibling as talented as you," he praised. "It's like you're stuck in their shadow, and nothing you could possibly do would ever measure up." Haruhi was a bit caught off guard by his explanation, her heart clenching in her chest at the thought of her sister feeling as though she wasn't good enough, immeasurably resentful toward her for making it all seem so much easier than it truly was. If that were the case, it was surely never her intention.

Seidou had escaped within his own thoughts, brooding silently across from her. Somehow she knew he could relate to Yuuhi's situation. "Do you have siblings, Takizawa-san?" He snapped back to reality at her question and nodded his head.

"A younger sister," he sighed with a roll of his eyes that brought an amused smile to the raven-haired woman's face.

"So you can relate?" He shrugged his shoulders. The expression on his face was unreadable as he seemed to retreat back into his head.

After a moment, he spoke with a solemnness Haruhi had never heard from him. "Yeah," he finally admitted, eyes falling to the table. "You could say that." She smiled sympathetically.

"My father used to say that competition 'builds character'." Seidou met the apathetic woman's eyes as she spoke. "I think that's garbage. If anything, it reveals a person's character. What drives them and what they are and aren't willing to sacrifice to achieve their goals. You can learn a lot about someone from competing with them, you can reveal a lot about yourself. But it doesn't make you a better person.

"When you really think about it, it's all rather pointless."

Seidou stared intensely into the foggy blue depths of her eyes as if they held the answers to all the questions he had. She absentmindedly picked at the cuticles on her fingernails as she stared across the room at nothing in particular. What could she possibly know about competition? Seidou had always thought of the intimidating young woman as someone whose skills had never truly been challenged, so infinitely talented that few could compare. She was well on her way to becoming one of the most revered female investigators that the CCG had ever seen. From her perspective, Seidou figured it was awfully easy to say such things. "Pointless?" he wondered, to which the corners of her mouth quirked upwards in the faintest hint of a smile.

Her gaze shifted back to the bemused young man with firm resolution. "Why does it matter if somebody surpasses you if you were always doing your very best?"

Seidou frowned deeply. Your best is the best; how comforting, he thought sardonically. He had heard the same false proverb from his mother and his instructors, all patronizing him for his failures. It seemed like he was always falling short of his infuriatingly perfect classmate. None of them understood his frustration, the demoralization he felt each and every time she finished above him or won their unspoken challenges. "No offense, but that's easy for somebody like you to say," he stated, resting his chin in his hand with a dispirited expression. "I bet you've never been anything but the best."

The sulky young man was surprised when she let out a laugh, a hand moving to her lips as if to catch the noise before it escaped her throat. Seidou found himself captivated by the harsh woman's smile as if he were watching a shooting star streak across a black sky, a beautifully fleeting moment that he was unsure he would ever again have the privilege of witnessing. Had _he_ done that? Did he really make her laugh? Before he could compose himself she assured him, "I'm not sure why everyone seems to believe they know me so well, but I can promise you that's not true." A delicate smile curving her lips as she once again turned her attention toward the window, her piercing grey-blue eyes fogged by something Seidou couldn't decipher.

He was so confident that he understood her. He had heard stories all throughout his academy days of the incredible young investigator feared by men and ghouls alike – Kamenashi Haruhi, the Angel of Death, harbinger of ruin. When ghouls saw the petite figure wielding the quinque bathed in flames, all hope was abandoned, resolve smothered in a white-hot inferno. The stony mask she wore so well never seemed to falter, and she wore the same constant look of placid resignation even as she cut down the ghouls that opposed her. Despite being so well aware of the young woman's reputation, Seidou couldn't help but feel suffocated by the overwhelming sense of superiority that emanated from her presence, and the dull impassiveness that dwelled in her eyes sent a chill down his spine.

" _I'm not sure why everyone seems to believe they know me so well,"_ he thought back on her words and wanted to kick himself. What a fool he was for assuming so much of her, he chided himself. But he was so sure that he understood her, and now he wondered if he really did at all. As he stared at her painfully gentle smile, he thought about how fragile she looked and how beautiful she was despite her ruthless reputation. Her eyes betrayed her true feelings as complex as they were despite her efforts to hide behind a cold, unfeeling mask.

Seidou hadn't realized that they had lapsed into silence until Haruhi finally spoke again, the weight of her words coming down on him like a ton of bricks tossed from a tenth story window.

"If being the best is all that you're aiming for," she said, her voice returning to its usual somber tone as her gaze met his, unwavering and frigid, smile gone from her face, "you'll never amount to anything." He wasn't sure how to respond, a lump forming in the back of his throat as she stared at him with casual indifference. It was like a switch had been flipped just when it seemed as though she were giving him a glimpse past her harsh exterior, and she was suddenly back to the careful and guarded ghoul investigator, the unwavering professional. He felt like a bug under a microscope, like his greatest flaws laid exposed before him for the mysterious woman to pick and prod as she pleased. He was captivated by her, and at the same time, stricken with fear of her judgement, afraid that she could see what nobody else seemed to notice.

Seidou quickly realized that she wasn't waiting for a response, instead gathering her things and standing from her seat. "It's been nice talking with you, Takizawa-san," she said, bowing appreciatively much to his surprise. "But it's time for me to get back to work." He felt his mouth go dry as she turned to walk away.

"I-I'm right behind you!" he sputtered, silently cursing the anxiety he felt under the woman's attention. She smiled over her shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

" _Daddy, can I ask you a question?"_

 _He was standing in front of the kitchen sink washing dishes from that morning's breakfast when she latched onto his hip and yanked lightly on his shirt to get his attention. He glanced over at the tiny child who met him with big, innocent, foggy blue eyes, and he smiled and indicated she continue._

 _She knit her brows together in a contemplative expression. Haruhi was far more expressive than most children her age, something Makio always found incredibly amusing. Even before she could speak properly, she was twisting her face in disgust at the taste of bananas and growling in anger when her toys were taken away. She, like most children, was easy to read. At that moment, he could see that she was curious about something but unsure if she should mention it._

 _The young father dried his hands on a dish towel and swept the girl up in his arms, much to her surprise. She let out a yelp and began giggling happily as he swung her over his shoulder and hugged her tightly to his chest. She felt so safe and happy in his arms, nuzzling her face into his neck and closing her eyes blissfully. "Go on and ask, Haru," he told her._

 _She leaned back against his arms so she could look him in the face, her tiny hands folded behind his neck. "Have you ever been hurt by a ghoul?" she asked, moving to touch the stubble on his chin like she always did when she was in his arms._

 _He blinked in surprise, confused by the random question. "I've been hurt by ghouls before," he told her honestly, curious as to what brought such a question to her mind. "Why are you asking me that?" She shrugged her little shoulders and looked at something past his face._

" _Did it hurt really bad?" He thought back to all the times he had narrowly escaped with his life. His scars told all the stories that he could never live to forget no matter how hard he tried, but he hid them from his children as well as he could. They need not know that their father wasn't as invincible as they perceived him to be. The hopelessness he once felt at seeing some of his strongest allies fall defeated at the feet of bloodthirsty ghouls was enough to convince him that humanity itself was a cruel and unjust weakness; even the strongest men eventually fall unceremoniously to their end. He wasn't ready for Haruhi to know that harsh reality. She was far too young to truly understand why he chose to do what he did for a living, why he voluntarily put his life in such danger each and every day without fear or worry of the outcome._

 _Makio didn't want to worry his children. They were at that preciously naïve age, and he preferred his girls stay blissfully ignorant to their true reality for as long as they could. He smiled at the girl in his arms and finally answered, "only a little bit."_

 _She giggled at him. "You're so strong, Daddy. How did you get so strong? Can I be strong like you, too?"_

 _He kissed her lightly on the forehead and sat her back down on her feet. "That's enough questions," he mumbled as he playfully ruffled her hair. She bounded off for the backyard where she knew her mother was tending to their garden._

 _Makio had noticed his oldest daughter's growing curiosity. He feared the day he already knew was coming, the day she would say those words that would seal her fate and put her on the same path he himself set out upon all those years ago. A life where her survival could never be guaranteed and her memory, like that of many men and women before her, would likely go forgotten. Where the risks far outweighed the rewards, and very few lived to see the purpose of their sacrifice fulfilled. It was a thought that filled him with dread. He knew his girls were destined for great things, that the potential within them that now laid dormant was boundless and unmatched, and he feared it like nothing he had ever feared before._

 _He knew what happened to promising young men and women who showed up on the CCG's doorstep. As a parent, the last thing he wanted was to see his children become numb, mindless killing machines with no purpose beyond slaying ghouls._

 _Makio stopped caring about leaving behind any kind of admirable memory or legacy when his children were born. The moment he looked into the tiny face of his firstborn wailing miserably in his arms, he realized his true purpose. He found his reason for living in those tiny gray blue eyes, and it had nothing to do with being a ghoul investigator. He would love and protect them with everything he had and cut down anyone and anything that dared to cause them pain. They were the only legacy he wished to leave behind._

 _He often thought of the life they would have because of him – the life he all but forced upon them when he and his wife brought them into this hateful, twisted world. They gave him something to live for, but at what cost? He didn't deserve them._

 _Makio would curse himself for eternity for his own selfishness._

* * *

20th Ward

Monday

19 Nov 2012

6:58 AM

" _Haruhi-chan_ ," the snowy haired teen whined, leaning over the cubicle wall that separated his workspace from hers. She cut her eyes up from her computer screen to fix him with a scathing look, one that didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. "Can you just show me how to do it, please? Just one more time."

Haruhi sighed, running a hand down her face in exasperation. She came into work two hours early so that she could finish filing the reports her father had left for her over the weekend. Upon entering the office, she found the disturbed young man spinning around the office in his desk chair, a trail of toppled trash cans and scattered papers littering the floor. Several scuff marks decorated the bottoms of the walls, undoubtedly the result of his dizzying antics. Shinohara had instructed Juuzou to report in early to get a head start on his investigation report as well, only he refused to touch the large stack of paperwork piled up on his desk. After cleaning up his mess, the apathetic woman offered to help him with the filing process, showing him how to fill out each specific report, but he didn't seem interested in doing the work himself.

"I already told you," she said, "just fill them out as I showed you. It's really not that difficult."

"But why?" he huffed, nose turning up at the thought of actually having to do the work. "Why do _we_ have to do paperwork? Why can't somebody else do it, and we just kill all the ghouls?" Haruhi frowned deeply, irked by his simplemindedness, but even more frustrated at the fact she couldn't provide him with a good enough answer. Sure, it was very important to keep as much information regarding investigations on file as possible, but was it really efficient to have so many investigators in the office? She craved to be out in the field again if not only for the fresh air. Being cramped up in a tiny cubicle all day couldn't possibly be good for one's health, and listening to Juuzou and Takizawa's constant bickering was its own form of torture. Surely some time outside would do everybody some good.

Despite her reassignment, Haruhi couldn't seem to tear her mind away from the 11th ward. She and Makio were among the last investigators to walk away from the chaos unscathed, something that deeply trouble her now that it seemed the threat was gaining the potential to spread further throughout Tokyo. Though they had successfully taken down many ghouls allegedly affiliated with the terror organization, their grip on the ward became far too strong to control, and all CCG personnel were instructed to abandon operations in the ward. Before the plug was pulled, the two were working to uncover any information regarding the organization's whereabouts, scouring the dense forests and sewer system in a last ditch effort to locate the base of operations. They had searched every seedy back street and suspicious structure and exhausted every anonymous tip. They had run out of ideas, and yet the possibilities were dwindling. There were only so many places they could hide.

There was no denying there was a war brewing, and the 11th ward was at the center of it all. At the time, Haruhi thought giving up the ward was a foolish decision, but now she realized what was happening was something that they were all horribly unprepared to defend against. Ghouls weren't killing in order to sustain themselves, nor were they quarreling over the rights to their feeding grounds. They were working together in droves, planning and executing organized assaults against CCG investigators in a blatant act of rebellion. Haruhi spent the majority of her morning scouring through the CCG's database in search of such similar instances. The one that stood out to her the most was the Clown Operation, though there were precious few details. The operation was ruled a success despite there being no real way to determine whether or not the organization had been completely dissolved. The group was notoriously evasive, and their purpose even still remained unknown. All the reports spoke of the dark mysteriousness that surrounded them, and their exceptionally lethal teamwork.

She couldn't help but wonder if the Clowns were somehow involved in what was happening in the 11th ward. Were they trying to create a rebellion? Her thoughts were disrupted as Seidou took a seat at the desk across from hers, pausing to shoot her a cheerful smile. "Good morning," the chipper brunette greeted her.

"Good morning," she said, glancing at the clock at the corner of her computer screen. "I didn't realize it was already 7am."

"Oh, really?" he asked, removing his coat and draping it across the back of his chair. "How long have you been here?" She shrugged her shoulders, leaning back in her chair to pop her back and stretch her stiff muscles.

"A little over two hours," she said, releasing a deep breath. "I wanted to get all of this paperwork done."

"And did you get it done?" Seidou jumped at the sound of Makio's voice as he had appeared from behind him without a word, hands in his pockets as he eyed his daughter carefully. He moved so silently that most never saw him coming, but Haruhi smelled the cigarette smoke on his clothes from a mile away. He refused to spare Seidou so much as a glance though the young man's discomfort was palpable.

Haruhi nodded. "It's all done," she affirmed, turning to face her computer where she had been scouring through CCG archives. "I was just looking into some old case files from –"

"If you're really not busy, then you won't mind running an errand for me," Makio interrupted, to which Haruhi gave him a curious look. She didn't like being talked over, something she was sure her father knew, but she managed to hide her annoyance for the sake of appearances. The last thing she wanted to do was bicker with Makio in front of her colleagues, but he often made it difficult for her to bite her tongue. She watched as he stuck his hand in his jacket and felt around for something. "We have a meeting with the Bureau Director, Houji, Shinohara and I. We'll likely be unavailable for the rest of the day."

He fished out 3000 yen and tossed the folded up cash onto her desk. She eyed it with a bewildered expression. "I need you to go to the coffee shop on the corner for me."

She met his eyes, almost the same shade of murky blue-gray as her own, a look of disbelief on her face. He stared back at her with a deadpan expression, clearly unperturbed by her obvious discomposure. He wanted her to go on a _coffee run_? How dare he, she thought, how dare he approach her in front of her colleagues and ask her to perform such a menial task; he had the audacity to strip her of her dignity in such a way that she could do nothing but oblige. The woman capable of killing S rate ghouls was suddenly reduced to nothing more than an errand runner.

The derision swimming in her eyes was enough to make even Juuzou sink back into his chair, afraid to break the troubling silence that had suddenly fallen over the office. "You want me to go get coffee…?" the normally stone-faced woman scoffed, her voice low and even but betraying her obvious discontent.

The corners of the man's mouth twitched upward in an unnerving smile, and for a moment she was ready to punch a hole in the wall behind her computer. "I'm just trying to keep you busy." She glared at him harshly before snatching up the money from her desk and standing from her seat. "Be quick about it," he ordered, watching in amusement as the young woman shoved her arms into the sleeves of her coat.

"Oi, Juuzou." The stitched boy peeked over the cubicle at her. "You're coming with me." She gestured toward the elevator and his face lit up.

Makio laughed, "Oh, no he isn't," he smirked, putting a hand on Juuzou's shoulder and urging him to sit back down in his chair. The snowy haired delinquent plopped back down, looking to Haruhi in confusion. "Juuzou has work to do." He gestured toward the large stack of paperwork and Juuzou hunched over in his chair with a pout.

She sighed throwing her hands up. "Alright that's fine," she relinquished, her eyes flickering toward the young man who seemed to be trying to make himself disappear. "Takizawa-san will join me." He froze where he sat.

Haruhi was satisfied when she saw her father's sly grin falter. "He's not working on anything of great importance. He can help me with your drinks." Makio stared at her as if trying to figure her out, unsure of her true intentions. She wondered if he was searching for some sort of dishonesty in her eyes. He knew their move from the 11th ward had left her restless and eager to be out in the field. She had grown so used to being in danger's way every other day, and suddenly she was reduced to nothing more than an office assistant, running out for coffee and filing endless amounts of paperwork. She was frustrated and anxious, a combination that had proven itself volatile for the young woman in the past – she had every opportunity to jump the gun, but she had so far remained in her cubicle like a good worker bee. Makio knew of her curious nature, he knew she was fearless. He knew what she was capable of.

But she had been so _disgustingly_ good lately.

Finally breaking eye contact, Makio turned and retreated back toward the conference room. "Hurry back," he dismissed with a wave of his hand. Haruhi smiled and stuffed the money in her pocket.

It was chilly outside but the air was still, something Haruhi was thankful for as she stuffed her hands in the pockets of her coat. Seidou trailed quietly behind her and struggled to keep up with her brisk pace. She walked straight past the coffee shop without so much as a second glance and Seidou faltered behind her. Had she forgotten why they had left the office? He reached to grab her arm and get her attention, but she flinched away and came to a sudden stop, spinning around to face him. He ran straight into her, his chin bumping into the top of her head.

She stumbled back a step, reaching up to rub her injured forehead. "Ow…" she hissed. "What's the problem?" For a moment he was entranced by the way her warm breath billowed from her lips in a white cloud that dissipated before he could catch it. Her brows pinched together in an irritable expression as he managed to find his voice only to stumble over a frantic apology.

"I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, Kamenashi-san." She didn't respond, instead watching him flounder with a vague look of amusement. "I, er, you seem to have missed the coffee shop…" He pointed behind them at the shop on the corner, to which she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, we're not getting coffee," she said, turning around and continuing forward. "I've got another assignment to work on. You're more than welcome to return to the office if you would rather not join me."

She moved with an apparent disinterest in the man, not bothering to stop and see if he would follow after her. What in the world was she doing? The girl appeared to have her mind set on something, and Seidou felt his stomach clench as a wave of dread washed over him. He was suddenly reminded of something his superior had told him, a passive warning he gave after the two left the conference room meeting the other morning. "What do you think of Haruhi-san?" he had asked in his usual solemn tone, much to Seidou's surprise.

He stumbled over a response, eventually sputtering out, "she seems alright." Houji grinned, though his face betrayed his unease. "Why do you ask?" Houji and Seidou were still getting to know each other, and so Seidou had tried to refrain from questioning the older man too much in spite of his deeply curious nature. However, he couldn't help himself just this one time.

"Well," he sighed, "Haruhi is a very talented investigator. Her skill is promising…" He paused as the two entered the elevator and waited for the doors to shut completely before he continued. "But she's notoriously defiant. If not for her behavior, she would likely be Rank 1." Seidou's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"Are you serious?" he questioned, "I had no idea. She's even younger than I am…" Houji chuckled as the young man's thoughts began to wonder off, shifting from the mysterious young woman to his own apparent lack of ability. When he was first assigned to work with Houji, he was overjoyed at the opportunity. He wasn't one to take just anybody under his wing, everybody told him. Seidou was eager to impress him with his knowledge, but he soon realized that what he knew was useless if he was incapable of performing the tasks expected of him as an investigator. Houji was greatly respected, having trained under the honorable Mado Kureo, taken part in the infamous Clown Operation and played a pivotal role in decimating one of China's most notorious ghoul groups. How could Seidou ever measure up to somebody like him? And with investigators like Haruhi and Juuzou on par with some of the more experienced Rank 1 investigators, it was as if he truly had no hope of standing out.

Before he could delve too deeply into his self-deprecating thoughts, Houji broke through the silence. "You're a very bright young man," he said, staring straight ahead at the elevator doors. "I trust you to know when you must follow orders, and when you must do what is best for yourself and the people around you." He smiled kindly, but Seidou got the hint.

"Yes, sir."

His eyes followed the woman as she walked away from him, her petite figure disappearing around the corner of the street. His heart began to race and his palms began to sweat. He wanted so badly to trust her, but he didn't know what he was getting himself into, and that uncertainty plagued his mind like an affliction. Regardless of her intentions, the gentleman inside of him couldn't consciously allow her to venture off on her own knowing the repercussions she was likely to face. That's what he decided to tell himself, at least. His body had already made the decision his mind was still working toward as he dashed forward to catch her, scuffling gracelessly through the crowd of people walking briskly down the sidewalk. He paid them and their dirty looks no mind as he caught back up to her.

Finally she looked back at him, her plump lips curved up in the slightest hint of a smile. He felt his stomach turn in knots. "Oh, I think you'll be glad you came," she assured him.


	4. Chapter 4

Apologies for the delayed upload. I spent a lot of time writing this chapter and ended up splitting it into two parts.

I feel like now is a good time to remind you that while this story does follow very closely to the plot of the manga, there are slight changes I have made in order for my characters to fit into the plot in a way that is believable and real. As somebody who is very considerate of the small details in not just my own writing, but others' as well, I know how sometimes these kinds of things can affect how much you enjoy a story. I've tried very hard to stay true to the characters and the environment. I hope that you all read the story and enjoy it in the same way that I do, and I encourage you to message me with any questions or concerns you may have. I'm sure the majority of you will find this disclaimer unnecessary, but I just want to address it for the special few lol.

As always, your feedback is greatly appreciated, and I promise not to bore you with long messages like these too often :)

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20th Ward

Monday

19 Nov 2012

8:23 AM

Seidou gave in to the young woman after his relentless questioning resulted in nothing more than smug silence. He hunched forward and let out a deep sigh, mumbling under his breath, "this is what I get for being a nice guy…" Haruhi heard his bitter grumbling, but chose to ignore it. She was starting to think that maybe bringing Seidou along might not have been the best decision. From what little she had gathered from their small interactions and the things she had observed in their branch meetings, he seemed to be very knowledgeable if only a bit overzealous, but like many newly graduated investigators, he was eager to make a name for himself. She had been around long enough to see this same naïve selfishness end the lives and careers of many young investigators, and since Seidou had yet to get his feet wet in a real investigation, one that required stepping outside of the office and actually applying the skills that were invested in him at the academy, she felt he was due to receive that reality check.

Haruhi suspected that Houji had a much better plan in place for introducing the eager young man into field work. Maybe he would have him observe the scene of a ghoul attack and ask him to form his own hypothesis or search for information. Or maybe he would take him for a tour through Cochlea so that he could first see a ghoul before he began investigating them – both things Makio made her do when she was only a rank three. It seemed only fair that everyone undergo those same initial "trials". Her transition from student to ghoul investigator felt easy and natural.

She really hated that Seidou's experience wouldn't quite be the same.

Their walk so far had been relatively quiet aside from his incessant questioning which she had so far refused to acknowledge with any kind of answer. Despite her silence, he still followed along, finally realizing where they were headed. "Are we taking the train?" he asked, to which she nodded wordlessly. "Where are we going?" It was only the billionth time he had asked, but he felt this time she might actually give him some sort of response.

"We're going to the Eleventh Ward," she deadpanned, turning away from him to face the crosswalk. He waited for her to turn back around with a complacent look on her face and tell him she was only joking, but that moment never came. The light turned green and she followed the crowd of pedestrians moving across the street. He stood frozen in disbelief for a moment as people continued to bustle past him, and Haruhi continued to put distance between them. Once he realized she was about to lose him in the crowd, he dashed forward to walk beside her. He made an effort to match her long, confident stride and she flinched away when he brushed against her arm. She had gotten used to him following behind her, but he had grown tired of talking to the back of her head.

"You must be joking, right?" he insisted, causing a vein on her forehead to throb. "There's no way into the Eleventh Ward, and even if there was, why the hell would you want to go there?"

There were a few seconds of silence that passed, and he wondered if she was just going to ignore him until she finally spoke. "Unfinished business," she asserted, eyes fixed straight ahead. The impassive woman could tell her vagueness irritated him. He didn't even bother to suppress the aggravated sigh that left his lips.

As they reached the other side of the street, Seidou, in an unusual fit of courage, grabbed Haruhi by the hand and brought her to a sudden halt. She instantly spun around to confront him, her cold glare causing him to falter for a moment, but neglected to pull her hand from his grasp, instead taking in the feeling of his sweaty palm on her own. "Haruhi," he said after taking a deep breath to steady his frantic heartbeat. "Just tell me what's going on already." Despite his nervousness, he stood firm and refused to allow his gaze to fall from her fierce irises.

Her hand fell away from his as he loosened his grip. "I'm sorry," she apologized, crossing her arms as if trying to form some sort of barrier that she could hide behind. He could tell the words were hard for her to say as her eyes fell to the ground in clear discomfort. The abrasive young woman very rarely felt she had a legitimate reason to apologize, often too self-assured to admit her own wrongs, but even she couldn't deny that she had gone about this all wrong. The brunette was too impressionable, too easy to manipulate. "I know I should've been up front with you, but I didn't expect you would still want to join me if I told you where we were going." And I really don't need you running back to the office and getting me in trouble, she thought, eyes moving from her feet to the big brown eyes baring down on her. Seidou stared in confusion, fixated on the nervous wrinkle between her eyebrows.

"But… why?" Was she insane? For the first time, Seidou allowed himself to truly consider it. He was aware of the rumors even before Houji's vague but ominous warning, but after meeting her, he wasn't so sure that they had any merit. "What in the world could possibly warrant trespassing in the Eleventh Ward?"

She pursed her lips and her eyes wondered to something over his shoulder. "It's a bit hard to explain," she conceded, "but I'm fairly certain I know where to find the ghoul group's base of operations."

He shook his head in disbelief. "You're 'fairly certain'?" he questioned. "What makes you so sure? Where did you get this information?"

She looked around at all the people passing by and fixed him with a cold stare. Maybe the middle of the street wasn't the best place to discuss such pertinent information, he realized. "This isn't the place to discuss this," she growled. "Just know that I have confidence in this information. It's somewhere I know we never had the chance to search." Seidou followed after her as she continued walking, still unsure of the idea. Regardless, the severe young woman was determined to see it through, and there didn't seem to be anything he could say that was going to stop her.

Giving it one last shot, he tried again to dissuade her. "But I heard at the main office that they're still checking out leads," he touted to which Haruhi could only roll her eyes. "I'm sure if you turn in this information, they'll –!"

"No," she scoffed, turning around and pushing against his chest before he could run into her. He stumbled back startled by her sudden outburst. "They won't. They won't take it seriously. I have to do this myself."

"I-I'm so sorry," he sincerely apologized bowing respectfully toward the irritated woman. Haruhi suddenly felt embarrassed with herself for letting her emotions get the best of her. "But… what makes you say that? If you have this kind of information, wouldn't it be best to report it?"

She let out a deep sigh. "my source isn't exactly the most… conventional, you could say." Seidou opened his mouth to inquire further, but she cut him off before he could speak. "Even my father refuses to acknowledge any of my suggestions to look further. 'It's out of our hands now', he says." Her eyes fell to the floor once again as she glowered at her father's words. "I have more honor than that."

Seidou took a moment to observe the small woman. He had found himself wondering before what it might have been like to be stationed in the Eleventh Ward as the ghouls began their uprising, but he never dared ask about it. He knew a lot of investigators were killed or had gone missing, but he hadn't considered the profound affect being a part of such a disastrously failed operation might have had on those who managed to survive it. To watch the very infrastructure responsible for protecting the people there crumble before your eyes, to see your comrades die one after another – he couldn't imagine how awful it must have been to walk away from it knowing there was nothing you could possibly do to save it. She was angry and frustrated and guilty.

There was no way into the ward that didn't require breaking the law, and if that wasn't enough to deter someone from trying, then the almost indisputable guarantee of running into any number of powerful ghouls should have been more than enough to dissuade even the most skilled investigator. The anxious brunette felt his stomach churn and struggled to suppress the bile that threatened to rise from his throat. What if they had to face down a ghoul? He didn't even have a quinque to protect himself with. Haruhi was known for jumping headfirst into dangerous situations such as these, and she just so happened to have a knack for turning the tides in her favor. Unfortunately, Seidou didn't feel quite as confident in his own abilities, and he worried her luck might be due to run out.

"How would we even begin to navigate through the ward without ghouls catching our scent?" She was surprised by the implications of such a question, that he might actually wish to join her despite his strong protests. Maybe he wasn't as weak-willed as she initially thought.

She wordlessly reached into the pocket of her coat to retrieve a tiny vial, swirling it around in front of him. He watched the clear liquid slosh around inside the tiny container. "Do you know what this is?" she asked, though didn't give him enough time to answer. "I don't expect you to know considering there's nothing else of its kind available at the moment. It's only a prototype, allegedly meant to mask a human's scent with that of a ghoul's." He grabbed it from her hand and examined it closely, taking notice of the tiny spray nozzle. It strangely reminded him of one of the expensive floral perfumes his sister used to douse herself in before going out with her friends. He always complained about the strong, nauseating smell knowing how much it pissed her off. "No wonder you can't find a boyfriend," he would taunt her, "you smell like a French whore." She would stomp down the stairs and tattle to their mother, who would scold him for his harsh words.

"It's made out of kagune secretions." He snapped back to reality as she snatched the vial from his hand and tucked it back away in her pocket. "I only have one so I don't need you dropping it."

"How did you get it?" She smirked and neglected to answer his question as she continued toward the subway. He suspected it was best he didn't know. "You seem to have a lot of secrets." He couldn't see her face as she walked away, but he was sure she was smiling.

"I know the Eleventh Ward like the back of my hand," she told him as they moved down the stairwell. "We scoured every inch with a fine-toothed comb, found nothing and lost a lot of good people in the process. Giving up on finding this place is a complete disservice to them." She looked to him with a fearsomely stoic expression, foggy blue eyes burning with an earnest conviction. It seemed that for a moment he had allowed himself to forget who she was and how woefully he compared. Was it really a disregard for authority that inspired her, a juvenile attempt at gaining the respect of her peers? Or did she truly have an irrefutable lust for danger? All these things he considered seemed to fade to the back of his mind, and he suddenly felt like an idiot for conceiving such fallacious thoughts. "I'm sick and tired of waiting around for the answers to find us."

Seidou felt something happen in his chest, the heavy pounding of his heart ringing in his ears. Her eyes felt like they were burning straight through him as they searched for some sort of confirmation, but he couldn't find the words to speak. Was he willing to risk his life alongside her own? For somebody who wanted so badly to be trusted and depended upon, he found it awfully difficult to volunteer himself.

As the silence stretched, Haruhi allowed herself to relax and offered the young man a somewhat reassuring smile. Though, much to Seidou's discontent, her eyes clearly conveyed her disillusion. "I forced you into joining me, and I'm sorry. If you would like to return to the office, I will not stop you."

"No," he blurted, stumbling over a cohesive response. "I-I want to come with you!"

She was rather shocked by his insistence, narrowing her eyes toward him in a speculative glare that sent a chill down his spine. All the color seemed to have drained from his face and she could tell from how tightly his fists were balled together at his sides that he was trying to keep his whole body from shaking. "Are you sure?" she asked.

He cleared his throat and nodded affirmatively. "I'm sure," he said. "I can't allow you to go alone." At his response, her expression relaxed and she allowed her lips to curve upwards in a slight smile.

"Alright then, let's hop on a train." She turned her attention to the crowded platform. "I'll fill you in on the way."


	5. Chapter 5

What in the world have I gotten myself into? Seidou thought to himself. After disembarking in the Ninth Ward, the two found their way to a small clothing store intending to change into something "less suspicious". Haruhi explained that their goal was to look and act like ghouls who wanted to join the rebellion should anyone confront them, and to avoid conflict at all costs. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to accomplish that. He had never tried to get into the head of a ghoul, much less act like one. As far as he was concerned, they were monsters he had no interest in trying to understand.

The anxious young investigator sat in the dressing room staring at his terrified reflection. His eyes fell to the two bikaku blades leaned against the corner. Haruhi had shoved them into his hands with little warning after getting off the train, instructing him to keep them hidden until he needed to use them. Somehow, looking at the weapons made the situation seem all too real. How had he allowed himself to get entangled in this woman's mess? All he wanted to do was go to the corner and get some coffee so he could return to his cubicle for the rest of the day. Houji would be ashamed of him when he found out. This was blatant insubordination, grounds for termination. But more than that, the thought of disappointing his superior caused him great anguish, and his chest tightened at the realization that it was likely to be the case. Up to this point, he felt as though he had been doing everything perfectly.

He jumped in surprised when something smacked into the back of his head. "Try these," Haruhi commanded, slinging several different articles of clothing over the door. "Just go with whatever is most comfortable. Doesn't matter what it looks like."

He changed into the clothing she offered without protest, throwing on a long pair of compression pants and some athletic shorts that reached just below his knees. He also wore a sweatshirt that practically swallowed him whole, but it was the only size he could find. "I look like a punk."

Haruhi peaked inside from around the door. "The punk look suits you," she quipped, to which he let out a distressed yelp and attempted to rebuke her for disturbing his privacy. Unconcerned by his apparent self-consciousness, she spoke over his hopeless stammering. "I'll go ahead and pay. Just meet me out front." He could feel his cheeks burning long after she had left him alone.

He stepped outside to wait for her and stuck his hands in the front pocket of his sweatshirt. The streets weren't anywhere near as lively as they were in Nerima which he suspected had a lot to do with its proximity to the Eleventh Ward. The ghouls were slowly but surely spreading their plague into the neighboring wards, making even where he stood now a dangerous place to be human. He recalled listening to the news just a few days ago and hearing about another investigator murdered right here in Shinagawa.

"You alright?" Haruhi asked as she emerged from the shop. She wore a big red sweater that hung loosely off of one shoulder and a pair of black leggings, her feet nestled into what looked like a very comfortable pair of shearling lined boots. He was used to seeing her hair tied up in a neat and uniform bun atop her head, but she now wore it in a much more relaxed loose pony tail with wispy strands of raven colored hair framing her delicate face.

Ignoring her question, Seidou spoke what was on his mind before he could think to stop himself. "You look very pretty," he said, immediately regretting the words as they left his mouth. Her lips curved upwards in a small but amicable smile.

"Thank you," she replied, eyes scanning him from head to toe. "You don't look so bad either." Had she really just complimented him? Seidou figured it was only out of courtesy, but it still made him blush a deep shade of red. He hadn't realized he had been holding his breath until she looked away to rummage for something in the bag she was carrying.

She retrieved the scent masking spray she had shown him earlier and popped off the tiny cap. "A little goes a long way," she said, spraying her whole body in only a few spritzes before turning toward him. "Arms out." He obliged, extending his arms out from his body and allowing her to spray him down. He expected the formula to have some sort of smell, but it was odorless.

"Are you sure this stuff works?" he asked. She looked at him and shrugged.

"I guess we'll find out." Seidou swallowed a huge lump in his throat. "You ready to go?"

He groped his waist until he felt the familiar hilts belonging to the two blades he had tucked in the waistband of his shorts. "As ready as I'm going to get," he breathed allowing a nervous smile to stretch across his face.

He knew Haruhi had her own quinque hidden away in the bag she wore over her shoulder, one much more powerful than the puny blades she had given him. He wondered which it was. Part of him wanted to see her kakuja quinque in action, the one he had heard about in so many stories. He had once heard a senior investigator at the main office describe it as something from a nightmare, like a monster you only hear about in folktales. Long, sharp claws that can skewer through flesh, bone and kagune, thick spikey armor the darkest most infinite shade of black. Saeki, she called it, named after the ghoul it was made out of. He could only hope to have such an infamous quinque of his own one day.

Haruhi's "source" gave her specific directions to the location of the hideout in question: an abandoned science facility nestled far back in the forests outside of the city. It made Seidou somewhat uneasy that she refused to divulge any details regarding just what she did to acquire this information and from whom. She clearly didn't want anyone else to know that she had this knowledge. His questions made her uncharacteristically anxious, almost frantic, and so he resisted from pushing any further. At least for the moment. He worried that he and the stubborn woman were walking straight to their death, but she cared for nothing besides the desired outcome.

It was this absence of fear that made him grow increasingly apprehensive. There was a thin line between fearless and careless, and he wasn't sure which side Haruhi fell upon. All he was sure of was that she had no intention of turning back now.

As the two ventured closer to the dangerous ward, Haruhi began veering off of the main street in an effort to remain undiscovered. She reminded her companion to stay quiet by bringing a finger to her lips and moving cautiously in the shadows between the decrepit buildings. Businesses and homes had been abandoned for months and were showing signs of deterioration, a thick layer of dust covering the windows. However, Seidou noticed a few of the buildings appeared much less run down than the others and displayed clear signs of recent use. His heart began beating quicker and harder as anxiety constricted his throat.

He was startled when Haruhi jumped back and pushed him against the brick wall behind them, quickly placing her hand over his mouth to muffle the yell she knew would follow. He stared at her with frantic, fearful eyes as she peered around the corner. She mouthed to him without making a sound, "There's somebody over there." Seidou quietly moved around to sneak a peek at the stranger he suspected to be a ghoul and was surprised to see a rather harmless looking young man fixated on the cell phone in his hand. It seemed he hadn't noticed them at all.

Haruhi urged Seidou to move back against the wall. "Listen," she whispered, shifting her gaze from him to the young man across the street. "We're going to follow him, try to stay out of his sight." Seidou nodded, knowing there was no point in protesting her plan. "Follow me." She moved around the corner of the building with the calculated vigilance of a cat stalking its prey, her movements quiet and undetectable. He tried to mimic her cautious steps to the best of his ability as sweat began to pool in the center of his back.

As they moved closer, Seidou was able to get a better look at the guy. He looked to be maybe the same age if not younger with messy blonde hair that appeared darker at the roots. His eyes kept moving between his phone and something further ahead that he and Haruhi couldn't quite see, and he moved with a similar cautiousness. For whatever reason, he wasn't wearing shoes.

Haruhi stood up straight, her tense shoulders suddenly relaxed. She held a hand out to Seidou in a silent command to remain where he was as she stepped forward to reveal herself to the stranger. Though she moved rather swiftly, he failed to notice her presence until she was almost right behind him, and as he spun around to face her she wrapped an arm around his neck and covered his mouth, dragging him into a nearby alley that was cloaked in shadow.

He writhed around in her iron grip and yelled into the hand she held over his mouth. Haruhi took a moment to look into his eyes, warm chocolate brown irises clouded with intense fear. Far too weak to break free of her, Haruhi silently confirmed her own suspicions – he was not a ghoul. His fight-or-flight instincts should have kicked in long ago, she deduced.

"Be quiet," she coldly commanded, tightening her grip around his neck. "I'm not going to kill you. I work for the CCG." She slowly relinquished her hold on him, allowing him to breathe again as she removed her hand from his mouth. "You're aware that this is a restricted area, aren't you? You could die here."

Surprisingly, he let out a quiet laugh even as he struggled to catch his breath. His face was deathly pale. "I could say the same to you," he replied. Haruhi frowned.

"I'm on the job," she spat back, and he flinched at the harshness of her tone. "Now unless you would like a personal escort to the police station, you had better tell me what you're doing here."

He flashed her an impish grin, brown eyes grazing over her body with the same juvenile exuberance she expected to see in a mischievous ten-year-old. "If you're the escort, I don't suppose I would mind." For a moment she was baffled by his wittiness. Did he think she was joking? She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him roughly against the wall behind him, nose nearly touching his.

"I-I'm sorry, I'll tell you! Just don't bring any attention," he begged in a frantic whisper, putting his hands up defensively. She let him go and waited for him to continue. "I was… following somebody. Somebody I thought seemed a bit off."

"'Off'?" she questioned, arms folded over her chest.

"I suspect he's a ghoul. I managed to get a tracker on his shoe, and I've been following him for a while now." He held up his cellphone to display some sort of tracking app that appeared to show a map of their current location.

She squinted at the tiny screen, focusing in on the blinking dot, the location of the tracker he had attached to the ghoul's shoe. "Are you a complete idiot?" she questioned, eyes devoid of emotion. "What kind of fool puts a tracker on a suspected ghoul and proceeds to follow them into ghoul infested territory?"

He laughs, reaching up to scratch a nonexistent itch on his chin. "I'm just a curious guy," he insisted, to which the impassive woman could only shake her head in disbelief. "It's a hobby of mine. I'm aware that it's rather stupid, that's why I try not to get caught in the act." She didn't believe him in the slightest, but couldn't be bothered to continue shaking him down. He proved himself to be no threat. Haruhi stepped out of the dark alley to motion for Seidou to join her.

As he scampered over, Haruhi turned her attention back to the stranger who appeared to be engrossed by the tracker on his phone once again. She snatched it out of his hands in order to take another look. "He's going in the same direction we're headed," Haruhi realized, nudging Seidou with her elbow as he approached. "This ghoul he's tracking is heading to the science facility."

Seidou blinked in confusion. "He's tracking a ghoul?" His eyes shifted to the stranger. "Is he human?"

"Yes," he and Haruhi answered in harmony. The immature young man grinned. "Alright, I don't know what you're really out here trying to do, but this tracker could be helpful to our investigation if this man is really a ghoul." Seidou interjected, already realizing where she was going.

"You're going to let some random guy join us?" he asked. "Isn't that a bit too dangerous?"

Haruhi looked from Seidou to the curious blonde, her cold, calculating eyes staring straight through him. He swallowed thickly, the intensity of her gaze causing his stomach to twist in knots. "I trust him," she stated, though he felt the words were meant as more of a veiled threat; I will trust you, so don't betray me. He nodded thankfully and she handed the phone back to him.

"He's already a block ahead of us," he said, looking up from the phone. "We should get moving. It's probably not safe to stay in one place for too long."

Haruhi agreed, motioning for him to lead the way. She laid a hand on Seidou's shoulder before he could move to follow. "Hey," she whispered, "don't worry too much. I promise you we'll be fine."

He sighed. "Sure, you'll be fine," he grumbled, unable to look meet the woman's sharp stare. "If I make it out of this, there's no way Houji-san will want to remain partners…"

"Don't worry about that," she told him hand moving from his shoulder to grip his bicep reassuringly. "I won't let any repercussions fall on you. I just need you to trust me." She looked to him for a response and he finally realized what she was saying. She was asking him to trust her. She _needed_ him to trust her. She needed _him_. Why else would she have asked him to join her in the first place?

His chest swelled with pride, and despite the wrenching in his gut telling him otherwise, he believed in her. Maybe she just had an effect on him, he thought as he realized she was still holding onto him while they followed after the stranger with the tracking device. He wasn't sure he would've allowed himself to be dragged into this kind of situation by just anybody.

"I do," he said after a prolonged silence, "I trust you."


	6. Chapter 6

Haruhi had never seen Ota City in such a desolate state. The once busy streets and lively storefronts that now sat quiet and empty evoked a strong sense of foreboding, a lingering uneasiness that had the woman taking each step with cautious apprehension. She had worked in the ward during the massive evacuation and remembered the unsettling emptiness that remained as a result, but there was something profoundly different in the city she saw now.

Her mind went to all the people who had lost their lives trying to protect this ward, the people who had been left behind during the withdrawal. Most were never found and likely never would be. It was the harsh reality that often befell those who fought to secure a safe future free of the man eating beasts that hunted them, but it was a risk that they were willing to take. Investigators often didn't have the luxury of a proper burial, and their families weren't ever guaranteed that peace of mind. In a way, it was as selfish as it was selfless.

Haruhi had always been bad about letting her heart take influence over her decisions. It was her heart, heavy with guilt, that led her back to the ward she couldn't protect. The CCG's retreat had left a bitter taste in her mouth, and she still hadn't managed to let go of the mission they had failed to complete. Once the CCG fell back to count their losses, the ghoul group in the Eleventh only continued to grow in size and strength while thousands of people were left homeless and neighboring wards began overcrowding. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough information for the CCG to act upon, and so they instead resorted to strengthening their numbers in the other wards. She found this response to be cowardly and pathetic. If her comrades were willing to die in order to uncover the ghoul hideout and potentially save thousands of lives, why couldn't they take the same risks for those who had fallen? Was their sacrifice for nothing at all?

When it came to doing something that she felt was right and justified, there wasn't much of anything Haruhi would let get in her way – even if it meant going against everybody around her.

The strange blonde met Haruhi's eyes and motioned for her to come over. She had been following closely behind him, and Seidou behind her, watching and listening for any sound or movement that might signal a nearby enemy. She stepped closer and he held the phone out for her to see. "He was following this street but suddenly diverted into the forests," he whispered, pointing out the location.

"That's exactly where we're going," she said. Seidou looked concerned. "I appreciate your help, but it's far too dangerous for you to continue."

He gave her a charming smile and nervously scratched at his chin. "Ah, I suppose you're right. I'm not trained in this kind of stuff like you guys are." It seemed odd to Seidou that he was so willing to leave considering he had gone to all the trouble of coming this far, almost as if he was anxious to get away from them.

"Seidou can follow you out." His eyes snapped back to the woman beside him. "I would rather not risk something happening to you."

"I'm not leaving you to go on alone!" Seidou whisper shouted, earning a scowl from the cold woman, though admittedly, he wanted nothing more than to turn around and go home. He was absolutely terrified of the danger that awaited him, but even more than that, he was stubborn and prideful. What would she think of him if he left her now? Even Haruhi's bone-chilling glare couldn't whittle him down.

"That's awfully flattering, Miss. But I assure you that I'll be just fine." Seidou wasn't sure why Haruhi seemed to trust this man so easily. He was a smooth talker, though his smile radiated a warmth that was comforting and inviting. Something about him just didn't seem right.

Haruhi grabbed a hold of his shirt as he turned away from her, twisting the fabric into her fist. He stumbled back in confusion. "But first," she said leaning forward, "I need you to do me a favor."

He fidgeted with his hands, brown eyes betraying his fear, but somehow managed to speak with an unnerving calmness. "Anything." She let go of him and cupped her hands around his ear, whispering something that Seidou couldn't discern. His body froze and his eyes were wide open as he listened to her instructions, and when she pulled away to meet his eyes, he nodded confidently. "Consider it done," he assured her, sticking his hand out for her to shake as if they were making some sort of agreement. Seidou watched her grip his hand with her own.

"I appreciate it," she thanked him. "Now get going."

Seidou and Haruhi watched him make his careful retreat until he was far out of sight. He knew that she wasn't going to give him an answer, but Seidou asked her anyway. "What did you tell him?" She continued staring after the stranger, a calm expression on her face.

"I'll tell you later," she said. "We need to get moving." He resisted the urge to heave a heavy sigh. The gravity of their situation began to weigh on his mind, and he wondered again how he had allowed himself to blindly follow after this woman he barely knew. At first, he was put off by her dignified beauty and graceful yet commanding presence, awed and intimidated by her at the same time. He wanted to be close to her in the way any man wants to be close to a beautiful woman; then she went on to show him a kind gentleness that he now realized was drastically uncharacteristic of her, and ever since then, he has wanted nothing more than to bask in that same blissful warmth that made his whole body tingle. He was allowed a tiny glimpse into a side of her that not many were lucky enough to experience. She made him feel important.

He wanted to experience that again, but he wasn't sure how. In the days since, he had tried to get closer to her little by little, chatting over the copy machine and making small talk from his cubicle across from hers. Talking about the weather, complaining about the paperwork, but never eliciting more than a few words in response as she seemed so uninterested and deeply engrossed in her work. He was shocked and elated when she asked him to join her on a trip down the street to get coffee. A perfect opportunity away from the tension in the office that he could use to get to know her, he thought. And somehow it turned into this.

The two made their way carefully through the forests, their movements now much more difficult to mask as they moved through the dense foliage. Seidou spared a glance over his shoulder after a moment and realized the city had disappeared somewhere beyond the trees. It made him very uneasy. "Hm," Haruhi hummed, startling him to attention. She had paused to stare up in the trees at something he couldn't see. "There's someone here." She spoke above a whisper as though intending to be heard, and Seidou felt his heart stop in his chest as the tree limbs above them rustled underneath an invisible weight. Haruhi pushed him back behind her as somebody hopped to the ground.

A ghoul, Seidou thought as he stared upon the masked stranger. He wore a long cloak with a hood that came over his head making most of his features impossible to identify. Seidou suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. "You caught me," a gruff voice laughed from behind the mask. He audibly sniffed the air and let out a disgusted noise. "You smell even worse up close. Like fuckin' rot."

"Apologies," Haruhi spoke, her voice calm and even. Seidou shrunk back behind her. "We haven't bathed in a while."

"Disgusting." The ghoul walked closer and took another sniff. Haruhi glanced beneath his cloak to gauge his size and strength and was satisfied to see he appeared rather average, nothing she couldn't handle if she had to. His mask wasn't one she immediately recognized, a basic white with three diagonal lines. "What brings you to these parts? Not a lot of people passing through."

Haruhi stepped forward as a show of confidence, eyes fixated on where she suspected his eyes would be. "We've come from the Sixth Ward. We want to join the rebellion," she informed him. "I was told I could find them here."

He appeared to look her over from head to toe before letting out a loud, booming laugh, one that made Seidou's skin crawl. "You gotta be kidding. That kid behind you looks like he's about to shit himself."

She spared a look back at the brunette and realized what he was talking about. His face had gone pale and his whole body quivered in fear. She turned back to the obnoxious ghoul with a roll of her eyes. "Don't worry about him," she insisted as the ghoul's laughter died down. "We're not fighters, but we want to do our part."

He seemed to consider this as he went silent, arms crossing contemplatively under his cloak. "Well we could always use more laborers," he mumbled more to himself than to the two investigators before him. After a moment he shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever. I guess I can take you to the boss an' see what he wants to do with you."

Haruhi nodded, careful not to seem too eager. "Sounds good. Lead the way." As the ghoul turned away, Seidou looked to her for some sort of explanation. Was she planning to infiltrate the base? What if this ghoul was only bluffing, and he knew that they were really human? He saw no way out of the situation that didn't end with both of them getting skinned alive. She simply brought a finger to her lips, blue eyes trying to convey a message he couldn't receive. He remained silent and followed closely behind her.

The ghoul led them far back into the forest where the foliage seemed to grow thicker and taller. He made no effort to move quietly as he stepped heavily on the forest floor, allowing the leaves to audibly crunch beneath his feet. "How many are there?" Haruhi asked after a long silence, eyes fixed to the back of his hooded head.

"I dunno, several hundred if I had to guess," he responded without missing a beat. Haruhi nodded, sparing Seidou a sideways glance before continuing with her barrage of questions.

"Where is this place? My feet hurt. We've been walking for a while."

"Shut up," he barked irritably, causing Seidou to flinch. "It's not far, just up over this ridge." She thought carefully about her next question, cautious of her words. The ghoul didn't seem the slightest bit suspicious as he continued to move forward, back to the two investigators.

She made a contemplative sound. "Must be pretty big to hold several hundred," she remarked, hand moving under the flap of her bag and reaching for something inside. The ghoul slowed his pace, sniffing the air again.

He shrugged. "It's nothing too impressive," he said. "Used to be a research center, I think for some university or something. I'm not really sure. It's nothin' fancy, but it's got all we need."

There was a click from something in the bag over her shoulder and the ghoul faltered. He had heard that sound before and he knew what followed. "Good to know," she said, suddenly unsheathing a long, vibrant blade. It pulsated with a unique and powerful energy, and Seidou felt the heat radiating off of it. He stumbled back, tripping over a dead tree root. It wasn't the quinque he had expected to see, but it was still incredibly powerful. She called it _Eve_ , an S rate ukaku quinque with several unique and devastating forms – the most infamous, a tessen capable of creating bursts of fire. She chose to wield it in its primary form, a long blade with a serrated edge.

"Fuckin' bitch." He lunged forward to dodge her subsequent attack, kagune erupting from the center of his back to steady his body as it hit the ground, a single rinkaku tail that took the brunt of her blade. A tiny cloud of smoke rose from the wound when she pulled her blade away, hissing as it burned and began regenerating. "You…"

"You idiot." Seidou scrambled to his feet as another voice spoke from up in the trees. "How in the hell did you not realize who she is?" Haruhi knew that voice all too well. She took his distraction as a chance to catch the careless ghoul off guard, lunging forward and lopping the head off of his shoulders with ease. Seidou gawked at the blood that sprayed from his neck as his body fell lifelessly to the ground. He wanted to move but couldn't feel his legs, every nerve in his body suddenly numb in fear as his brain screamed at him to do something, anything to get out of this situation.

 _I've got to do something, I'vegottodosomethingI'vegottodosomething ohmygodohmygod i'mgoingtodie_

The ghoul that dropped down to stand before them was clearly much more powerful. He wore robes of a different color from the other ghoul, perhaps to signify his higher rank within their organization. Haruhi stared upon this ghoul with a look of fond recognition as though he were a dear friend or colleague she hadn't seen in years. Confused by her wide, deceptively happy smile, Seidou could only look on as his body refused to do what his brain commanded it.

"Ah, I haven't seen you in such a long time," the woman gushed, hand tightening around the hilt of her blade. Her body shivered in excitement as she laid eyes on the familiar mask, mind venturing back to their previous encounter. "How's big brother? Or… are you the big one? I don't quite remember." A massive bikaku tail swung toward her only to connect with a nearby tree as she rolled backward to avoid the devastating attack.

"Fuck off," he swore, aiming again to cut her in half.

She let out a laugh as his attack failed to connect yet again. "You're rather pathetic on your own," she mocked, lunging forward and swinging her blade at his face. He parried her swing and went to punch her in the face, but she jumped backwards into a handspring and put some distance back between them.

The ghoul scoffed beneath his mask. "Keep talking," he threatened. The two seemed to be at a stalemate. If she could use her quinque in its advanced form, she suspected that she could make easy work of the single tail brother. Unfortunately, there were too many environmental factors that made that a bad idea; a forest fire was the last thing she needed considering the circumstances, and she wasn't sure that she could lie her way out of that one with her father.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the massive kagune coming straight for her head, and she had just enough time to meet it with her blade. Her feet weren't positioned properly to brace for the attack, and she stumbled backwards.

"Fuck," she growled as the ghoul's kagune came at her again, barely allowing her a moment to find her feet. Seidou yelled out to her as she was knocked away, her body smashing against a tree and slumping unceremoniously to the ground. Her ribs took the brunt of the hit, and she struggled to catch her breath and pick herself up as the bikaku tail came barreling toward her to deal the finishing blow.

Never in his life had the rank 2 investigator been so terrified that he couldn't move a muscle, literally crippled by his own fear. He had spent the last decade of his life preparing for a moment like this and suddenly none of it mattered. There was nothing that could have prepared him for this, no amount of lectures or exercises. Nothing.

The fog in his mind cleared to reveal a forgotten memory, one that played in his head over the span of what might have been less than half a second.

" _Your quinque is the only thing standing between you and that ghoul," he lectured the class full of uninterested academy students, their eyes glued to the cheap imitation quinque in his hand meant only for instruction. "When the moment comes, and it's your life on the line, the way you use this will determine whether you live or die._

" _You cannot hesitate. You cannot allow your emotions to get in the way of protecting what is yours."_

If he didn't do something, she was going to die.

It was as though a switch inside of him had flipped , and suddenly his hand moved down his body to find one of the bikaku blades on his hip. Acting upon some sort of primal instinct, he lunged forward, and he slung the blade toward the masked ghoul who could do nothing as it buried itself deep in the side of his neck. He yelled out in pain, hands moving to nurse the new wound as his kagune dug straight into the ground at the raven haired woman's feet. Seidou quickly moved to her side and urged her to stand.

She looked up at him in bewilderment, clutching her throbbing ribs. "We need to go," she coughed, putting her arm around him to steady herself. He wordlessly agreed, holding onto the injured woman as they fled from the ghoul as fast as their feet could carry them. Seidou was sure they were going to be impaled through the back or thrown into a tree, but he told himself to just keep moving and pulled Haruhi along when her injuries began to take their toll on her speed. There was no way to know if they were being followed, so they just kept running until they couldn't anymore and eventually found themselves in Shinagawa, far away from the forest.

Seidou doubled over to catch his breath, sweat pouring from his face. His legs burned and his heart throbbed erratically in his chest. Oh how thankful he was for all the grueling hours of conditioning he was made to take part in at the academy. That suffering had actually saved his life.

When he turned to check on Haruhi, he was shocked to see her crumpled on the ground with her face buried between her knees. Her whole body shook violently as she heaved and coughed trying desperately to catch her breath. He could tell that she was hurting, but he wasn't sure how to react. Wanting so badly to comfort her but having no idea how to go about it, all he could do was stare as she growled and grumbled curses while punching at the concrete underneath her.

She finally raised her head up but continued to hide from his stare behind the dark hair that framed her face. She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. "Fucking worthless," she mumbled, resting her face in her hands. "I had one chance. One perfect opportunity…"

Seidou moved toward her hesitantly. "What opportunity?" he asked, kneeling down to be with her. "We made it away and now we know where they are. Isn't that –"

"An opportunity to slaughter one of the bastards that killed my comrades!" she screamed in his face, tears stinging her eyes. It was rare that she allowed herself to feel such strong emotions, and even rarer that she allowed herself to express them so openly. Seidou visibly flinched away at her intense response, but relaxed once he realized what she was feeling. She had the perfect opportunity to avenge the people she had lost and instead made a careless mistake that nearly cost her life. She had failed where her success would have helped alleviate a constant, heavy burden from her shoulders.

The cautious young man sat beside her on the sidewalk. He wasn't sure what else he could do besides assure her that he was there and wasn't going away. He lifted his hand to rub her back reassuringly but reconsidered the idea once she tucked her head between her knees again.

"I'm sorry, Takizawa-kun," she apologized after several long minutes of silence, finally lifting her head up and staring blankly at her feet. She sniffed pitifully and he felt his heart clench in his chest. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this. I know something horrible could have happened."

He wasn't sure how to respond. She turned her head to meet his earnest brown eyes after a moment and he felt his breath catch in his throat. He noticed the familiar wrinkle between her brows, the single chink in her armor he had come to realize betrayed her true emotions. Her captivating gray-blue eyes were glassy with tears that threatened to turn into waterfalls, and all the crying and anxious face rubbing had turned her cheeks a rosy pink. She looked so fragile and delicate, so terribly sad and impossibly beautiful and he just couldn't find the words to tell her that he would do it all again if it meant she wouldn't cry.

Takizawa-kun, he thought. She hadn't called him that before.

He couldn't find it in himself to tear his eyes away from hers. "It's alright," he laughed lightheartedly. "I… I'm sorry I didn't try harder to help you."

"But you helped me when I needed it most," she told him, finally gathering the strength to stand to her feet. "I owe you my life." Maybe it sounded a bit dramatic, she thought, but it was true. She likely wouldn't be alive if not for the sincere man's quick reaction. She offered her hand for him to stand alongside her, the retreating sun bathing her in an ethereal glow that warmed his face as he stared up at her. How perfect, he thought, taking it in for a moment before accepting her outstretched hand.

She smiled at him, a genuine smile that reached the cold steely blue of her irises. "We should go home," she said.


	7. Chapter 7

Four chapters in four days? Who even am I?

* * *

 _20th Ward_

 _Friday_

 _30 Nov 2012_

 _12:36 PM_

A bell above the door chimed as two investigators exited the small ice cream parlor and stepped out onto the sidewalk. The somber looking woman glanced at her watch and let out a yawn, looking over at her snowy haired companion as he happily licked the double scoop ice cream cone in his hand. She rolled her eyes when he hummed blissfully. "Don't you ever want to eat real food for lunch?" she questioned irritably, her stomach growling at the mention of food. She didn't have much of a sweet tooth unlike her androgynous friend whose diet consisted of little else besides junk food and soft drinks.

He shook his head, white hair sticking to the chocolate ice cream that decorated his cheeks. "Nope!" he grinned. She couldn't help but smile. Many of her work colleagues found it strange that the solemn investigator seemed to get along so well with the rambunctious troublemaker, but their opposing personalities complimented each other rather well. Juuzou had a way of bringing out the woman's mischievous spirit and morbid sense of humor while her quiet and confident presence managed to keep him relatively grounded – as grounded as a nineteen-year-old with the cognitive dissonance of a nine-year-old could be, at least. Shinohara appreciated that she allowed him to take a break from time to time as being Juuzou's guardian was no easy task.

It had been over a week since she and Seidou had escaped the Eleventh Ward, and luckily things seemed to be moving along as normal. When Makio questioned his daughter about her and Seidou's disappearance, she fed him an elaborate lie, claiming that the coffee shop had run out of his favorite dark roast, and as she and Seidou made their way across town to another cafe, he received a call summoning him to the main office for his mandatory quarterly wellness exam. This cleared Seidou of any fault, and Houji seemed to accept the explanation without expressing any suspicion. Haruhi explained that she decided to tag along because she wanted to get away from the office for a bit, an unforgiving excuse but a believable one nonetheless. She figured the mild scolding she received for being out of the office all day strictly for her own leisure would have been much more severe had he known where she had really been.

As awful as it sounded, she didn't feel any guilt for lying to her father. She had convinced herself that it was necessary, that he would never have allowed it had he known, and telling him what she had done now would serve no practical purpose aside from causing them both even more stress. Fighting with Makio was exhausting, and if there was anything Haruhi could do to prevent a monumental clash with the stern older man, she was going to do it.

As for Seidou, she had to make sure he didn't become collateral damage; another necessary lie, she deduced. After all, he had only been with her because she roped him into the situation unknowingly, so any consequences that fell upon him would have been unfair. Haruhi tried her best to avoid the brunette in a conscious effort to make sure that there was no way for him to be associated with her and her current reputation as a lazy, insubordinate junior.

Most of her colleagues were willing to acknowledge and respect her effectiveness, but they often disapproved of her methods or completely neglected to understand the conviction behind her "misbehavior". Haruhi may not have cared about anyone's opinion of her personally, but she had seen her father's illustrious reputation tarnished by her actions time and time again as he was forced to take up for her, his daughter and subordinate. She wouldn't allow another person to face unfair judgement because of her actions.

Shinohara greeted the two investigators as they strolled into the office. "Did you guys have a nice lunch?" he asked, eyeing Juuzou's half eaten ice cream cone.

"It was great!" he exclaimed, licking his lips clean of the remaining chocolate. The large man laughed jovially, resting his hand on his belly.

Haruhi noticed Seidou peeking over the wall of his cubicle at them before hunching back down. She made her way back to her desk and plopped down in the computer chair. "How was your lunch?" she asked as she logged back into her computer, her voice seeming to startle him. The woman hadn't spoken to him in so long that he was surprised to hear her acknowledge him.

He leaned back in his chair and scratched a nonexistent itch at the back of his neck. "Ah, I didn't take a lunch break," he said, "I wasn't really hungry." In truth, he was too ashamed to spend another lunch break all by himself. Haruhi had been spending most of her down time with the delinquent child and that included her lunch breaks and sometimes even her time outside of work. Seidou had watched them leave the office after work together on a few separate occasions. It irritated him that she and Juuzou were so close when he felt as though he and her were much better suited, yet she barely spoke to him unless they were discussing work.

Maybe he was just being foolish, but part of him had expected Haruhi to treat him differently after their escapades in the Eleventh. The earnest young man felt as though their experience had brought them closer, that they could forge some sort of friendship even if it weren't a particularly close one, but she seemed to be keeping him at an arm's length just as she had before. She remained as cool and distant as always and showed no interest in his various attempts at conversation. He was growing increasingly disenchanted at the way she seemed to brush him off so easily.

Before Haruhi could respond, a familiar face caught her attention from the corner of her eye. Itsuki Marude entered the room laughing boisterously alongside her stone-faced father who shook his head at what she suspected was a joke made in poor taste. Haruhi resisted the urge to scoff at the old man and stood to her feet, her father motioning her to follow.

They entered one of the meeting rooms and Shinohara shut the door behind her. Juuzou and Amon were also present and already looking rather uncomfortable. Marude tended to have that effect on people. The stout man had his fists balled at his sides as though trying to restrain himself from punching a hole through someone, and Juuzou had a strange expression on his face as Marude loomed over him.

"You're awfully fragile looking. Have your balls dropped yet?" he brazenly questioned causing everyone in the room to bristle. Shinohara quickly moved to diffuse the situation before it had the chance to escalate, placing one of his big hands on Juuzou's back in an effort to calm him before he did something irrational. Haruhi suspected she wasn't the only one who wasn't particularly happy to see Marude. Unfortunately, he was very fond of Makio, so she had the misfortune of encountering him several times over the years. Their conversations usually started and ended with him cackling at her short stature or her resting glower.

He seemed to be making his rounds, picking on each person his eyes fell upon. When he came to her, his cheeky grin faltered. "And there's Miss Sunshine," he mocked, laughing uncomfortably as she approached. "You look radiant today. What is it, did you kick a puppy on your way to the office? Or maybe set some kittens on fire?"

She smiled kindly, foggy blue eyes betraying her malicious desire to remove the old bastard's head from his body. "I believe I saw your motorcycle outside, Marude-san. It looks a bit rusted around the wheels, probably from where you've neglected to take proper care of it." A vein bulged on his forehead and his beady eyes narrowed to fix her with a scathing glare. "My father's bike is in great shape. Maybe he can give you some tips."

"Anyway!" Shinohara interjected, ever the peace keeper. "What did you want to talk to us about?"

Marude cleared his throat as he switched his attention away from the caustic woman to address the rest of the room. "You don't know? This case is the biggest in history," he stated, lips curving upwards in a creepy smile that made Haruhi's skin crawl. "I can't screw up… So I need the very best game pieces. In other words, you all will be lending me a hand in the Eleventh Ward Countermeasures Unit for a while."

A confused silence fell over the room, and Shinohara was the first to say what everybody was thinking. "Huh?"

"You heard me," he spat, hands moving to rest prominently upon his hips. "You'll be receiving your instructions from HQ in the next few weeks. And by the way, this is an order you have no right to refuse."

Seidou watched curiously as everybody filed out of the meeting room to resume their usual work positions. His eyes followed Haruhi as she made her way back to her cubicle and he waited for her to sit before he spoke. "What was that about? I wasn't asked to take part in that meeting."

She rested her elbows on her desk and massaged her temples. "Somehow, Marude has been appointed commander of a unit meant to deal with the ghouls in the Eleventh Ward," she told him, finally looking over to meet his inquisitive stare. "In the next few weeks, we're going to lay siege on their base."

"Really?" He leaned forward in his chair so that he could whisper back to her. "How did they find out about the base?" She gave the brunette a knowing look, lips curving into a complacent smile as she crossed her legs under her desk.

"An anonymous tip," she told him. "It wasn't me, and it wasn't you…"

His mouth fell open and made an 'o' shape as the realization hit him. Was that what she had whispered to the stranger, the favor she had asked of him? "That guy… what was his name?" Haruhi shrugged. "I don't guess it really matters. He didn't know our names either." Seidou pondered over the operation and wondered how it would play out as Haruhi turned her attention back to her computer screen. Were him and Houji meant to take part in the assault as well? "Why weren't Houji and I included in the meeting?" he questioned.

She didn't seem to think anything of it, shrugging her shoulders as she finished whatever she was in the middle of typing. "I'm not sure," she impassively replied, "but the main office will be sending out the name registry sometime within the next week. If your name is on it, then you're included in the operation." Seidou nodded and sat back in his chair. He stared blankly at his computer as he anxiously chewed the inside of his cheek and considered the possibilities. Surely it was only a mistake that he and Houji were left out of the meeting, he thought. There's no way they wouldn't have Houji on the frontlines of such an important operation. And of course he and Houji were a package deal, so there was no way he would be excluded either, right?

He spent the rest of the day ruminating over his potential involvement. Would they have him on the frontlines, charging into the fight? Or maybe he would be the support offering backup for the heavy hitters like Amon as they tore through the ghoul base. What if he came as close to a ghoul as he had with Haruhi? The thought sent a chill down his spine as he thought back to their encounter. There would be no guarantee that the fearless woman would be there to stand between them this time. More than likely, he would have to rely solely on his own strength and abilities. Why did that scare him so much?

It frightened him to the core the moment that ghoul had jumped down to confront him and Haruhi. He could do nothing to help her, nothing to save himself. It took everything in him to force his body into action, and that was only after he realized that he was about to witness the death of the only thing standing between him and his own gruesome end. It was fear that gripped him from the inside out, stole the breath from his lungs, chilled the blood in his veins, and it was fear that inspired him to act on a whim. Not the fear of losing a comrade, but the fear of losing his own life.

He couldn't find it in himself to be proud of that. If anything, it only made him feel even worse.

Tearing himself away from his self-deprecating thoughts, he realized Haruhi was standing and putting on her coat. Was it already time to go home? He looked at the clock and realized he had been stuck in his head for the past three hours. Haruhi met his eyes but quickly looked away.

Maybe he just needed to take a chance. Maybe he was thinking about it all wrong, and her mind had just been somewhere else whenever he tried to talk to her. There was only one way to find out.

"Erm, H-Haruhi-chan." She looked over at him curiously, surprised by the way he informally addressed her. Upon seeing the strange, indiscernible look on her face, he figured he had made a mistake and bowed his head apologetically. "Ah, I'm sorry." He felt a familiar warmth creeping up his neck and was caught off guard when she laughed.

"Why are you apologizing?" she asked as he looked up at her. "It's nice. Not many people call me that."

The way she was smiling at him made his stomach turn flips and for a moment he forgot what he was meaning to say. She stood patiently in front of his desk, hands buried in the pockets of her oversized coat. She didn't appear to be bothered. "I was wondering if you might like to go get something to eat with me?" he asked, his words coming out in a jumbled rush that even he wasn't totally able to understand. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, and her eyes darted to the window across the room as her lips pursed into a thin line. The wrinkle between her eyebrows made another appearance.

Her hands fidgeted in the pockets of her coat and her tongue darted out to wet her lips before she spoke. "I… I would, but I don't feel like that's a very good idea." She struggled to avoid getting caught by his big, innocent brown eyes and settled instead on staring at the pen on his desk.

The nervous young man's hopes visibly shattered before her eyes, his shoulders slumping as if all the air had just been let out of him. "Alright," he said, putting on a smile and struggling to appear as though her rejection hadn't disappointed him, "maybe another time then." She couldn't find it in herself to move right away, and so she lingered for a moment as he turned off his computer and quickly gathered all of his things.

He was eager to get away before the shame and embarrassment he felt swallowed him whole, and he threw up a halfhearted wave as he moved around her. "I'll see you Monday," he said, darting for the exit. She watched him leave through the door and let out a troubled sigh, ignoring the familiar pang in her chest.


	8. Chapter 8

So sorry for the long delay with these next two chapters... I've been working on them for a while, but wanted to get them both out at the same time because I felt uploading this chapter on its own would be kind of lackluster... so stay tuned :)

* * *

 _2_ _nd_ _Ward_

 _Saturday_

 _1 Dec 2012_

 _1:33 PM_

"Neechan," beckoned the dispassionate woman's upbeat mirror image, who stood across the posh boutique holding two skimpy dresses against her slim figure. Haruhi turned her attention from the rack of overpriced sweaters she had been perusing to unenthusiastically acknowledge her sister. She batted her thick lashes innocently. "Which do you prefer? I think the red one is a bit more eye catching." Haruhi narrowed her eyes and reached out to examine the price tag, but her fingers merely grazed the fabric as Yuuhi jerked the offensive clothing out of her reach.

"I don't think our father would agree," she scowled, gazing upon the tiny dress in disgust. "Where in the world would you even wear something like that?"

She shrugged, smiling despite her older sister's glower. "I don't know, maybe a night out with my friends, or a date…" She slung the dress over her arm and discarded the other to hang on a nearby rack. "There are _plenty_ of places I could wear it."

"I really doubt that," Haruhi grumbled with a roll of her eyes, resigned to staring out the storefront window at the people passing by as Yuuhi made her final lap around the store. Unlike her little sister who was a firm believer in the practice of retail therapy, Haruhi had never been one to get much satisfaction from needless spending. While she did take great pride in her appearance, the pragmatic woman chose to focus her spending primarily on things that helped improve her physical fitness as opposed to the expensive kinds of clothing and accessories her little sister liked to splurge on. It had to serve a specific foreseeable purpose for Haruhi to buy it. It was thanks to these frugal spending habits that she was able to save up for a few pieces of workout equipment which she stuck in the spare room of her apartment and utilized frequently in her spare time. At the moment, it wasn't quite enough to justify calling it a home gym, but it was enough for her and she planned to keep adding to it as she saved more money. In her mind, it was a more worthwhile investment that yielded substantial long-term benefits. Not to mention keeping in shape made doing her job quite a bit easier.

Eventually her thoughts drifted back to Seidou and the surmounting guilt that twisted her gut. She had been struggling to decide whether or not she was doing the right thing by him seeing as he seemed so eager to get close to her despite dragging him into a situation that very nearly could have gotten him killed – and swearing him to secrecy. He was naïve, she decided, but he had more than surprised her with his loyalty, a quality she felt was far too rare amongst her colleagues. Considering she had taken a gamble on him that paid off, there was no question that he was more than deserving of her time and energy even if it meant forming some kind of friendship which, admittedly, was something she had never been naturally good at.

She wondered if it was too late, if the damage was already done. Part of her was sure that he wanted nothing to do with her now. Perhaps that would be for the best.

A light nudge on her shoulder brought the pensive woman back to reality as Yuuhi stepped in front of her brandishing a shopping bag. She suspected it probably held the same raunchy dress from earlier. "What's up with you?" she asked with her usual attitude as she slung the bag carelessly over her shoulder, though a look of vague concern swam in her eyes. "You've been out of it all day. Is everything alright at work?"

Haruhi almost smiled. It amused her how Yuuhi was so quick to assume the cause of her uneasiness had something to do with her work. It came as no surprise to anyone, especially Yuuhi, that her elder sibling had turned out to be a workhorse just like their father, one who went home to pour over investigation files and reports long after the workday was over, obsessed with her job to the point that it was sickening to anyone who didn't understand – which, unfortunately for her, happened to be a lot of people. Yuuhi saw this and respected it despite the rather unhealthy consequences. She excelled in the classroom more so than Haruhi ever did as an academy student, and she strove to graduate at the top of her class. But even though she was extremely smart and athletic even by the academy's standards, her sister's enviable natural talent was something that she was in obvious lack of. She tried to make up for this with her admirable work ethic, dividing her time between school, extracurriculars, volunteer work, and a waitressing job, but even still the teenage girl felt she had no hope of ever breaking away from her sister's massive shadow.

Yuuhi nudged her again on the shoulder as they made their way out of the store, greeted by the sound of honking traffic and the idle chattering of passersby. "Is it a boy?" she teased with a suggestive wiggle of her brow, a question Haruhi refused to dignify with a response. "Isn't Amon-kun in your branch? Ugh, he's so…" She made a disgustingly feminine noise as her hands came up to her cheeks, eyes fluttering closed. Haruhi scoffed at the implication.

"It has nothing to do with Amon-san," she spat irritably as Yuuhi's eyes burned holes in the side of her head. She seemed to be scanning her face for something she wasn't telling her, eyes narrowing accusingly as they came to a stop on the busy street corner.

"So… It _is_ about a boy?" It was less of a question and more of a statement, and before Haruhi could deflect, the excitable teen was assaulting her with more questions. "Oh, who is it? Is he cute? Is it somebody that I know?"

"That's enough, Yuu," the exasperated sister asserted, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her coat and fixing the girl with a fierce glare that threatened violence should she continue pressing the subject. Yuuhi clamped her mouth shut, but her big blue eyes still appeared to be waiting for an answer. "It's… hard to explain without going into an excruciating amount of detail, and quite frankly, I would just rather not."

Yuuhi sighed deeply and slung one of her shopping bags over her shoulder as they stepped off the sidewalk to cross the street. "If you say so," she grumbled, brow creasing worriedly, "but I think that maybe it would benefit you to talk about whatever it is. I can tell it's bothering you."

Haruhi nibbled the inside of her lip as she contemplated her sister's suggestion before quickly dismissing the idea. As much as she trusted Yuuhi, it was just best that she didn't know what sort of trouble she had been getting into. The last thing she wanted to do was cause her any more worry than she already did.

The two girls lapsed into a long silence before Yuuhi spoke again, her words soft but betraying a harsh honesty the older sister deeply appreciated half of the time and other times despised with every fiber of her being. "You're just like Dad. Letting work take over your whole life, never making time for yourself... Doesn't it get exhausting?"

Haruhi didn't answer at first, eyes drifting to the overcast sky. A nip in the air had her adjusting the scarf around her neck before her hands once again found sanctuary in the warm, fur lined pockets of her coat. "It was never my intention," she stated with some solemnness as her eyes searched for a break in the clouds. "It just happened to become that way. It's hard not to take our kind of work home with us." Maybe it's impossible, even. She was reminded daily of the faces of people she had seen slaughtered in the eleventh ward, citizens and comrades, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, innocent people brutally killed for no justifiable reason. How disturbed would she have to be in order to brush them off and continue moving forward as though it hadn't shaken her to the core? Maybe she wasn't as numb as she would have people believe.

"I understand. Not everyone is capable of carrying the burdens investigators carry," Yuuhi said with a sympathetic smile, though her response seemed almost robotic. "But that's why I wish you and Dad would talk about it. Or at the very least, find some way to cope..."

Haruhi's dull, foggy eyes found hers with startling disinterest, her face eerily calm and firmly unmoving as though chiseled in stone. "To 'cope' implies vulnerability. Weakness." Yuuhi glanced over at the somber woman as they continued along the sidewalk. Her eyes were once against firmly focused toward the sky, the source of her captivated attention a small, barely noticeable sliver of shimmering sunlight that pierced through a tiny break in the clouds. It's comforting warmth was a welcome escape from the frigid cold that chilled her bones, and she wanted so badly to stop and bask in its glow. A weak smile curved her lips as she allowed her eyelids to momentarily flutter closed, a look of blissful contentment that Yuuhi took in and committed to memory. "I can't bring myself to see them that way," she said, turning her head to acknowledge the girl walking alongside her. "They're not my weakness, but my motivation. That's why it's so easy to allow my work to take precedence."

Yuuhi hummed agreeably and there was a moment of silence before Haruhi felt her loop a hand around her elbow. She pointed a slender finger toward a small café just down the street. "Want to stop for some coffee? We can rest our legs for a bit," Yuuhi suggested. Haruhi nodded in agreement and the two made their way into the small shop, a bell above the door announcing their arrival to the staff behind the counter as the fragrant smell of freshly ground coffee beans wafted pleasantly into their faces. Yuuhi ushered her sister toward a table situated near the window facing out toward the street.

They sat quietly for several minutes after placing their orders – Yuuhi ordering a caffe mocha and Haruhi a latte – but Yuuhi, in typical fashion, was the first to break the peaceful silence as she fixed her older sister with a weary stare, her face unusually somber. "Me and you used to have a lot of fun, you know," she stated wistfully, a good natured smile stretching across her face as her fingers drummed an unspecific tune against the table.

Haruhi couldn't refrain from smiling as she thought back on their mischievous antics. "We certainly did," she agreed, her mind drifting to a particularly fond memory. The sisters once spent an entire afternoon dressing up the family dog in Yuuhi's ballet tutu, the energetic young lab eventually breaking free and fleeing their bedroom only to bound into the kitchen where their father was unsuspectingly lifting a freshly brewed cup of coffee to his lips. It was the first time Haruhi had ever heard her father unleash such an eloquent stream of curse words as the hot coffee dripped from his chin to stain the front of his crisp white shirt, his face contorted in a mixture of pain and rage. It was well worth the resulting lecture in which the girls struggled to contain their giggles while Makio reinforced to them the importance of taking such responsibilities more seriously. He spent the rest of the evening scrubbing uselessly at his soiled shirt.

Her life would have been so dreadfully boring without her little sister. They made such a wonderfully mischievous team when they were younger, always getting into trouble or trying to weasel their way out of it with some elaborate scheme. Yuuhi managed to retain many of the girlish qualities that made her such a sweet child, her kind, gentle soul augmented by the innocent naivety and benevolent spirit that transcended her youth. Haruhi had always been a bit too pragmatic for her own good, but she was still, by all accounts, a happy child. A bit outspoken and eager to impress, but always friendly and affectionate toward those she cared for.

Why did that child feel so distant to her now? So much of her childhood had faded from her mind over the years and she uneasily wondered if the foggy memories she held onto had ever even happened at all. Perhaps somewhere along the way, she had forgotten herself in favor of the machine the CCG had programmed her into. So uniform, so precise. She was the near perfect embodiment of conformity in the face of bureaucratic control, a sudden thought that left her with a strange, hollowness in her chest. Always threatened for acting of her own accord even when the situation called for it, looked down upon for being "problematic"; she wasn't quite sure when she had decided to give in to others' expectations, but it certainly justified the great amount of stress she had been feeling lately.

Their coffee was placed in front of them, and Yuuhi curled her fingers around the small cup to savor its warmth. "You need to let loose every once in a while. Like you used to do when we were young," she winked over her cup of coffee as she brought the frothy liquid to her lips to take a small sip.

The apathetic woman hesitated for a moment. "'Let loose'…?" The words came with hesitation, and Yuuhi couldn't help the giggle that escaped her as she placed the cup back down on the table.

"Yeah, 'let loose'. You know, have fun. Enjoy yourself."

Haruhi fixed her with a deadpan expression, clearly unamused by her sister's response. "I know what it means," she spat as she reached for her own cup, "I just don't see the need."

"I just think you've been a bit tense is all. You're too serious," Yuuhi smiled impishly over the rim of her cup. "Maybe you could benefit from a little _spontaneity_." She flashed her older sister a suggestive wink that went completely unacknowledged as the solemn woman turned her attention toward the window with a disquieted expression.

There was a prolonged silence before she spoke again. "And how exactly do you propose I be spontaneous?"

Yuuhi grinned, elated at the idea of the woman considering her advice. "That's easy. You just gotta do something you normally wouldn't." Haruhi let out a deep sigh at the vague response, having been hoping for something a bit more enlightening. The young woman's exuberant smile showed no sign of faltering.

But perhaps Yuuhi had a point. Work had definitely taken precedence over most everything else in her life over the past few years, but she never exactly figured this to be a bad thing. Haruhi enjoyed her work and took pride in it because it gave her a purpose far greater than just herself. She hadn't considered that maybe this had allowed her relationships to suffer in return, though now it appeared blaringly obvious that she was doing exactly that. She wondered again about Seidou, who seemed so desperately willing to be her friend. Her desire to keep him from suffering the same treatment she so often found herself the victim of, the dirty looks and judgmental whispers, the typical ramifications that came from being too closely associated with her, far overshadowed her willingness to indulge in the possibility of making a friend in spite of her deliberate loneliness.

But… maybe her concern hadn't been so well placed.

It was obvious what she needed to do, and the sudden enlightenment left her feeling admittedly at ease, like shedding a weight she forgot she was carrying. Just how long had she been allowing her insecurities to hold her back? "Would you mind going to the market with me once we're finished shopping?" she asked, looking toward her confused little sister with a determined gleam in her eye. "I need to pick up some things for my lunch next week."

"I suppose that's one way to be spontaneous," she sighed, "but what exactly do you need? Surely you're not going to cook…" Haruhi chose to ignore the condescending jab at her cooking skills as she fished around in her purse for cash to tip the waitress. It was something of a running joke within the family that Haruhi was absolutely good for nothing in the kitchen, barely capable of boiling a pot of water without causing some sort of disaster.

However, she had already decided that she was going to be spontaneous, and there was nothing that could stop her now.

"Actually," she countered, "I am." Yuuhi nearly choked on her coffee.


	9. Chapter 9

This is the longest chapter I've written so far (about 4500 words), so I hope it at least *kind of* makes up for the long wait.

don't forget to review and let me know how you guys feel about the story so far. I know things are kind of slow going right now because I'm still working to "set the stage" so to speak for the significant events that will follow. You know, plot building and all that jazz. But trust me when I say things are definitely going to start picking up soon!

* * *

 _20_ _th_ _Ward_

 _Monday_

 _3 Dec 2012_

 _10:45 AM_

It hadn't been a mistake. Just as Haruhi had told him, the name registry for the cleanup operation came in from HQ the following week, and his name was not on it. Houji explained to him that the role they were to play was one of great importance even if it didn't quite seem that way and that he should be grateful to have been trusted to undertake such an important task. "We're in charge of keeping the twentieth ward safe while everyone is away. That's a great responsibility that we've been given," he said as he gave his sulky subordinate a reassuring pat on the back.

So far it had been an agonizingly long day, having spent the entire first half hunched down in his cubicle refusing to make eye contact with any of his colleagues even as their curious eyes stared holes in the back of his head. Haruhi's silent but overpowering presence just across from him left a burning sting in his chest – or was it his pride? – that made focusing on his work all the more impossible. It was unlike Seidou to be so unsociable, especially with his idol Amon roaming the office, but he couldn't stand the thought of facing any of them knowing he was not worthy enough to fight by their side. The shame he felt weighed heavily on his shoulders and he couldn't seem to muster the willpower to put on a happy face.

Unable to tear his mind away from the dark, self-deprecating thoughts that swarmed his subconscious, he couldn't help but wonder if this was all that the future held for him. Would he be forever resigned to the duties of a lowly office slave, little more than an overqualified bureau investigator? Even Juuzou who lacked the patience and mental capacity to independently complete an investigation report – or independently do _anything_ for that matter – had been handpicked to participate in the operation by Marude himself. Though he knew there was nothing he could do to change it, he couldn't help but feel that it just wasn't fair.

He was unsure how long he had been staring blankly at his computer screen, but he noticed it seemed to have gone to sleep at some point. Though it wasn't this that brought him back to attention, but the familiar sound of heels clicking across the floor that filled him with an intense feeling of dread. The anxious young man jerked straight up in his chair when the clicking paused in front of his desk just as he feared it would.

It was the first time he had laid eyes on her all day, having gone to extra lengths just to avoid being acknowledged by her, and unsurprisingly enough, he found it hard to breathe for the few short seconds it took him to drink in the sight of her. Maybe it was the initial shock of seeing her that left him with such little self-control, or maybe he was fully aware of what he was doing and simply didn't care for the implications; whatever it was, he couldn't seem to stop his eyes from raking over her body and taking in every part of her, from the pencil skirt that hugged her hips so delicately all the way up to the silky black hair that was pinned back out of her face to put those impossibly deep foggy blue eyes on full display. She gazed back at him with a profound recognition that seemed to freeze him in place despite the softness of her features, and once he found them he couldn't look away from those eyes. Thick lashes narrowed over gunmetal blue hues, and suddenly he felt hopelessly trapped much like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Fucking idiot, he berated himself. As if this couldn't have gotten any more uncomfortable, now I'm ogling her right in front of her face? Could I make this any worse? The urge to swivel his chair around and bash his head through the wall behind him was almost as overpowering as the urge to stand up and make a mad dash for the window across the room. Sure, the impact of falling from so far up would be pretty messy especially if there was somebody passing by right below, but at least it would be quick and he probably wouldn't feel anything. He would feel pretty bad for whoever had to clean it up, though. But he liked to imagine that the fall would be quite nice, being able to spend those last few moments alone with his thoughts and happy memories of the things he loved. Like his dog, the taste of his favorite curry, Sundays spent on the couch watching crime shows with the rattle of pans in the background as his mother prepared dinner.

Haruhi cleared her throat in an effort to regain his attention which seemed to shift just as quickly as the wind. "I was hoping we could have lunch today," she smiled delicately, hands absentmindedly smoothing the wrinkles from her skirt as she spoke. Seidou stared for a moment before finally remembering to blink. Had he heard that right?

"You… You want to get lunch? With me?" She nodded mutely and he suddenly flew into a desperate albeit controlled panic, hands waving dismissively. "Y-you don't have to do that if you don't want to," he nervously assured her, "I would much rather you didn't pity me."

For a moment she was confused, lips pursed into a contemplative line as she struggled to understand what exactly he meant. It was rather cute despite the standoffish "approach at your own risk" energy that seemed to radiate from every fiber of her being when in the office, and he had to fight the urge to chuckle at her befuddled expression. "Why would I…" she mumbled more to herself than to him before the hamster wheel in her brain began to spin once more and the realization hit her with an astonishing clarity one could only compare to being pistolwhipped in the face. "Oh – oh no. That's not at all what I … um…" She seemed to pause for a moment to carefully retrace her words, eyes fluttering up toward the ceiling in a rather endearing show of embarrassment despite the intensity behind her eyes. Had he said something to catch her off guard? What a strange sight, he realized as he listened to her fumble over her own words in an unexpected turn of the tables. He felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. Was this how she felt whenever he was the one left speechless?

"If you would, Takizawa-kun," she said as her eyes finally found his once again, that familiar albeit confusing warmth drawing him in and simultaneously pushing him away as it did, "please forgive me for being so short with you the other day."

Seidou was sure his soul must have left his body when she leaned forward to bow deeply at the hip, arms firmly glued to her sides and hands balled into anxious fists. "I would really like to be your friend."

Seidou was out of his seat in the next moment reaching out to lay a clammy hand on her shoulder. There was something so obnoxiously satisfying about having the young woman so humbly ask for his forgiveness, but he couldn't help but feel sick with himself for getting any enjoyment out of it at all. She was, after all, far superior to him, and though having her beneath him – get your mind out of the _fucking_ gutter for God's sake, he harshly chided himself – was admittedly pleasing for his ego, he knew he was undeserving of such attention and couldn't consciously allow her to demean herself in such a way.

She rose up at his touch to fix him with a bewildered expression and he quickly retracted his hand before she could acknowledge it. "B-but Haruhi-chan, I thought we were already friends," he stammered, eager to deflect her attention from his anxious fidgeting.

"Oh," she deadpanned, eyes boring into his as though unsure he was speaking the truth. "I guess I just wasn't very sure…"

How was it, he wondered, that she could seem so human in one moment and so utterly robotic the next? The women known for being the faultless silhouette of her stern, hard-nosed father whose unwavering and overwhelmingly powerful silence could inspire an army and imbue his enemies with fear was also rather awkward and unsure of herself at times just like he himself. Maybe she was just much better at hiding it. But somehow that painfully distant solemness he had almost allowed himself to forget came rushing back to the foggy depths of her eyes, and he wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, bring back that brutally raw and honest innocence she had shown him that day in the eleventh ward.

One step forward, two steps back. It had become a frustratingly constant pattern that seemed impossible for the zealous brunette to break.

Until now, that is. Haruhi was finally making a conscious effort to befriend him despite how unnatural it seemed. He had allowed himself to be brushed off by her again and again due to fear of being completely cast aside, but this time was different. She was trying, and that was all the prompting he needed.

"Alright! I know a great sukiyaki restaurant just down the street if that's something you might like," he suggested, his voice carrying a lighthearted cheerfulness similar to that of a child whose mother promised to buy him a new toy.

Haruhi held up a hand signalling pause and the earnest brunette quickly clamped his mouth shut. She stepped away to reach for something beneath her desk. "Actually," she said as Seidou watched on curiously. She produced a large bag which she carefully dropped on top of her desk. "I went ahead and made lunch last night. Shogayaki with vegetables." She turned back to him with two bento boxes and an unsure but rather satisfied smile on her lips.

The immediate silence that followed left the young woman feeling rather uneasy. She had spent the entire day prior questioning herself and whether what she was doing was appropriate or completely strange, running through the possible scenarios in her head like some sort of disturbed lunatic. "Um, that's really weird. Why would you do that? I don't even like shogayaki," he would say to her before walking away leaving her to wallow in her own crippling embarrassment and self-loathing. Or maybe he would say, "I would rather stay as far away from you as possible so you don't end up dragging me down like your father." He would walk straight past her and she would probably feel so ill from the sting of his words that she would just toss the lunch away in the trash.

"Thank you very much, Haruhi-chan," he spoke through the dark haze that clouded her mind as he graciously accepted the bento box from her hands. For a moment, she wondered if she were living in some sort of simulation. "You really didn't have to do something like this! It's a lot of work and I don't really deserve it." He bowed forward respectfully, and when he rose up to face her again, she noticed the rosiness of his cheeks and couldn't help but smile.

"Of course you do," she assured him as she quickly retrieved the office chair from her cubicle and rolled it over to his desk. He plopped back down in his own chair as she joined him. "You've been nothing but kind to me since we met."

"Kindness is hardly worth rewarding," he insisted, though the contented smile splitting his face told a different story.

"Ah, I forgot to pack chopsticks…" Haruhi let out a frustrated sigh. "You wouldn't happen to have any would you?"

Seidou made a contemplative sound before turning away to rummage through his desk. "I believe I might have some stashed away somewhere. Let me check."

Haruhi opened her bento as he turned his back to her. "If not, I can go look –" Suddenly she couldn't find her words, distracted by the unspeakably foul smell that met her nostrils as she looked down upon her food. The rice was dry and clumpy, and the pork looked like the tongue of a cow and smelled as though it had been fermented in raw sewage and then left out to dry in the sun for several days. She figured it was safe to guess it probably didn't taste much better than it looked.

"Ah, I found some!" the investigator triumphantly exclaimed as he turned back to her brandishing two unopened pairs of chopsticks he had likely received from the many takeout orders he had gotten over the past month. Without giving it much thought, Haruhi quickly swooped both of their dishes off of the desk and into the garbage just below, the loud thump startling Seidou to full attention. Once he realized what she had done, he spared a puzzled glance to the discarded bento boxes and then back to the woman who stared blankly back at him as she hurriedly stood from her chair.

"On second thought," she hummed, lips curving into a suspiciously innocent smile as she reached for the coat draped over the back of her chair, "I think sukiyaki sounds great right now."

The restaurant wasn't too far of a walk from the office. Haruhi had never been a huge fan of hot pot dishes but appreciated that they required minimal effort to prepare even at home where her sister would often whip up a pot for dinner when under a time constraint. Maybe it was the fact that her father enjoyed them so much that put her off of the dish. Either way, she thought against sharing her opinion of the restaurant choice with Seidou, who seemed so eager to please.

Haruhi quickly realized that the restaurant was much nicer than she had anticipated. They were led to a spacious private room with a large table situated in the center, the rice paper walls and tatami flooring giving the space a distinctly traditional Japanese vibe despite the large pot of warishita that sat simmering on a portable stove in the middle. The waitress took her leave once they were seated, promising to swiftly return with their desired ingredients.

"So how goes the investigation?" Haruhi asked as soon as she was confident the waitress was well out of hearing range.

"No luck so far," he sighed. "Maybe he realized we were onto him and decided to lay low for a bit. We've gotten no recent reports of new victims, so there isn't much we can do other than study the information we already have."

Haruhi hummed thoughtfully. "I guess you're right, but it doesn't hurt to do a bit of solo investigative work from time to time," she offered, folding her hands in her lap as she fixed him with a knowing look. "Sometimes there are things even our superiors miss when examining crime scenes and conducting investigations. Nobody's perfect." He seemed to soak in her words as his eyes shifted from hers to stare pensively down at the table in front of him.

"I take it you do a lot of 'solo investigating'," he teased, his sudden playfulness catching the woman a bit off guard. She quickly recovered and smiled in an effort to contain the malcontented sigh that threatened to escape her lips. "Your methods have clearly proven to be effective though, so I don't suppose there's any room for complaint."

"Are you sure?" she questioned with such unadulterated sincerity he wondered if she were trying to bait him into saying something he shouldn't, as though something he said had crossed an indiscernible line. When he neglected to respond, the tension in the set of her shoulders relaxed as she calmly exhaled and allowed the half-hearted smile on her lips to evaporate. He hadn't even realized she was practically holding her breath. "I think most would disagree."

"M-maybe so," the brunette reluctantly agreed, "but I don't agree with them. I think that there are going to be times when following orders maybe isn't the most lucrative option, and you have to make a conscious decision for the benefit of yourself and those who depend on you." He thought back on Houji's words and felt a deep sense of pride at having been able to recite them so easily. Perhaps he could impart the man's wisdom upon Haruhi as well and help bring her some sort of peace, assuming that's what she was looking for in the first place. She always managed to catch him off guard, so he couldn't really be sure. However, if there was one thing he did know, it was that she was carrying more than her fair share of burdens no matter how hard she tried to hide it behind a mask of false dignity and indifference.

"Even if that means putting others you care about in danger?" Seidou flinched at her swift response. Maybe he had misunderstood, but it was too late to go back on his words now. They still hung in the air for her to pull apart and scrutinize no matter how hard he willed them to disappear.

He forced himself to meet her firm gaze with calm resolution, big, earnest brown eyes boring into hers with compelling honesty that she couldn't force herself to look away from. "That's why this job isn't for everyone," he stated, the bluntness of his words inspiring some sort of reaction from the dispassionate woman. The implication was so simple yet she never dared allow a single reassuring thought to cross her mind without immediately questioning her own integrity, second guessing everything she stood for.

Is this what those who lost their lives would have wanted? Retribution at the hands of a dirty, good-for-nothing liar masquerading as a talented and honorable investigator? A thoughtless delinquent willing to step over the bodies of her fallen comrades to achieve what those around her were too sincere to do themselves?

He's just telling you what you want to hear, the bitter voice of her subconscious asserted itself in an effort to tear away the comfort she found in those words, dispelling the numbness that prickled at her chest.

"It was wrong of me to bring you along that day," she intonated with a distinct coldness to her voice that chilled him to the bone. It was so tempting to be free of the shame she felt for keeping such dirty secrets, but the thought of sharing her burdens with someone who's kind heart had felt for her so deeply left her feeling even more despicable than she already was.

But there was something she just couldn't keep to herself anymore, no matter how selfish it made her out to be. He deserved to know why, and he deserved to know just what an uncaring piece of human garbage she really was.

She let out a deep sigh, the coward within her unwilling to meet his eyes as she told him, "I didn't want to be alone. I had to have a 'plan B'."

Seidou's slow blink turned into a confused grimace. "What do you mean by 'plan B'?" he asked slowly, the weight of his question coming down on her like the blade of a guillotine. In all truth, he had put the pieces together some time ago. Seidou might have been gullible, but he wasn't a complete fool. He understood why she originally wanted to bring Juuzou along before Makio intervened, and he knew why she tried to convince him to turn back with the strange guy they caught stalking the eleventh ward. Once she had secured another willing vessel to anonymously relay the information, someone with no knowledge of who she was let alone her rank or importance, Seidou became more of a liability than an asset, his purpose null and void. He was little more than a safety net for her careless though well-intentioned plans to infiltrate the ghoul infested ward and obtain the information the CCG – no, _she_ needed to finally strike back.

He knew that she had used him. He should have felt differently about her initial disregard for his wellbeing, but he couldn't truly decide how to feel until he had an answer to the one question that had been itching at him ever since that day – why did she trust _me_?

Before she could respond, their waitress had returned with their drinks and the ingredients for their sukiyaki. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" the petite woman asked after stepping away from the table.

"That's alright," Haruhi assured her, quick to jump at the chance to disturb the heavy tension that hung in the air. "We should be fine now. Thank you."

They both watched the waitress until she slid the door shut behind her leaving them alone once again. "Is there anything you wouldn't like to include in the sukiyaki?" Seidou asked, anxiously reaching for the chopsticks with shaking hands. Haruhi gave a nonchalant shrug.

"It's probably for the best I leave the cooking to you," she smirked, leaning forward to watch him pour the noodles and vegetables into the seething pot. He cursed his body for betraying him as he felt the familiar warmth of blood swiftly rushing to his cheeks in response to the woman's watchful stare, every nerve in his body amplifying to an unprecedented level of hypersensitive awareness as he stirred the ingredients together with careful strokes. He snuck a glance toward her and noticed with some relief that she seemed only half aware of his presence as her eyes shifted toward the hot pot full of nutritious, delectable ingredients. Perhaps the mouthwatering aroma had distracted her.

The two made idle chat as they ate their lunch, Haruhi enjoying the food far more than she had anticipated, before deciding to make their way back to the office. Seidou had more questions he wanted to ask her but couldn't make himself summon the courage. It suddenly became so much easier to talk to her and he didn't want to say anything that might send her back into the reclusive shell she'd been in before.

"I've never been ice skating," she confessed after quietly listening to Seidou's long-winded story about an outing with his family that left him with a serious ankle sprain as a child. He gasped exaggeratedly as they exited the elevator and made their way into the office.

"Really? Never at all?" She shook her head. "Then we should go sometime and I'll teach you!" He felt the familiar pang of embarrassment at allowing his excitement to get the better of him even as the petite woman gave a gentle almost reassuring smile in return. She appeared to open her mouth as if to respond, but the words never came. Seidou curiously followed her line of sight to find the source responsible for her hesitation; Makio, the hardened investigator standing tall and imposing as though chiseled out of pure marble, a cigarette dangling haphazardly from his lips.

Cold, calculating blue eyes flickered curiously between the two of them as he casually leaned against the side of Haruhi's cubicle before settling his emotionless stare firmly on his daughter, the smile instantly sliding off her face. "How was lunch?" he asked, his voice lacking any interest as he picked the cigarette from his mouth and appeared to rub it out on something at Haruhi's desk. She returned his stare with a frigid glare of her own and Seidou suddenly felt like he was standing in the middle of a Mexican stand-off with nowhere to hide, as though a single twitch of movement would trigger a flurry of ricocheting bullets. He was surprised when she took a controlled step forward in blatant disregard of the imaginary chaos.

"What have I told you about smoking indoors?" she chided, crossing her arms over her chest like a mother scolding her disobedient child. "I wonder what my mom would say if she could see you now."

"It's probably a good thing that she can't," he admitted as he regarded her with a sardonic smile that almost seemed to breathe life into the dead space in his eyes. She narrowed her eyes at him accusingly and shook her head, clearly failing to find the humor in his words.

"That's terribly unprofessional," she scowled, though her attention quickly deviated from her father when Amon and Shinohara entered the room. Amon looked up from where he had been staring intently at the floor upon sensing the tension in the room. "Has Suzuya-kun not returned?" she asked rather randomly but with great interest in spite of the indifference that her tone of voice typically carried, as though she had only just realized she hadn't seen him all day.

Shinohara waved a hand dismissively as he came to stand next to her father, giving him a friendly pat on the back. "Ah, don't worry. I'm sure he's somewhere up high. He'll be back when he's feeling more like himself."

Seidou opened his mouth to voice his confusion, but decided against it when he saw the concerned look on Haruhi's face as she turned back toward the door. "I'll go check on him," she said as she quickly brushed past the dumbfounded brunette seeming barely aware of his presence despite having spent the last hour together. The way she moved with such purpose led him to believe she knew exactly where to find Juuzou, but he struggled to understand how. It was admittedly easy for him to forget that the two had known each other for such a long time, but he was always sourly reminded by the fact they never seemed to be more than five feet apart unless their work deemed otherwise.

Though now that he thought of it, Juuzou had been unusually quiet today. Come to think of it, had he even seen Juuzou at all? Just as he tried to remember, he was alerted to the fact that he wasn't actually alone in the room as Shinohara made several futile attempts to gain his attention by loudly clearing his throat. Seidou turned to attention with a flinch and the three men fixed him with a look he couldn't quite decipher. He attempted to escape the uncomfortable situation with an awkward laugh. "Do you know how to speak?" The sound of Makio's gruff voice made him jump in surprise as he shuffled toward his cubicle.

"Y-yes sir!" he stammered, turning to stand before the stern man who regarded him with potent disinterest nearing on contempt. He struggled not to scrunch his nose at the strong scent of nicotine assaulting his nostrils out of fear the man might strike him down right where he stood.

Shinohara laughed. "Don't give the kid such a hard time," he told his colleague, "Seidou's a helluva lot friendlier than you are, Makio-san!"

Makio shook his head with a humorless chuckle as though he found some sort of amusement in the young man's distress. He buried his hands in the pockets of his slacks as he quietly turned away and strode down the hallway toward his office, but not before casting one last withering glare toward the doe-eyed rookie whose breath caught uselessly in his throat. "That's because being friendly doesn't get you anywhere," he bit back sharply over his shoulder much to Shinohara's amusement. Seidou shrunk back in his chair like a young lion cowering before the alpha of the pride.

… Was that supposed to be a warning?


End file.
